ONE of the many areas where i'm having trouble with is basically making my intentions known - this is more of an issue if i'm trying to get someone that I already know as opposed to a stranger in a bar.

According to the escalation ladder, stage 1 is things like touching the arm to make points and high fives and stuff. That's fine.

But the problem is that stage 2 where it's things like brushing her abdomen and rubbing her legs with my legs whilst we sit together, maybe in a social circle chatting to friends, freak her out or doesn't seem to give the intended message.

Like, if I rub my legs with hers, she might say ''Ooops!...Sorry'' (as if it was her fault) and then move her chair further away. Or if I brush her abdomen she might look at my hand for a second and I can see she's slightly freaked out.

I instinctively want to say things like ''You look cute today! I think I might make you my girlfriend!!'' (in a playful/silly kind of way) or something like that, but i'm aware that i'm not supposed to be saying things like that, and should instead be using KINO to show that I like her

I was asking my brother how he got his last girlfriend that he knew from social circle, and he told me he basically just told her that he fancied her. And then soon after, he basically asked her if she liked him, too. And soon after, they started hooking up.

But since reading about seduction, I gather that that's not thebest way to go about it, but when i'm just trying to show them I like them with eye contact and touch etc, I feel it either wierds them out, or they don't actually know that I like them!!

(NOTE - For some reason, this is less of a problem with strangers in a night setting where using kino seems to be like an unspoken rule where everyone knows what going on and is on the same page)

I'm unsure of the apparent advantage kino has over just directly telling her. Is it just about plausible deniability so that you can save face if for some reason your 'game' didn't work and she's not interested in you