Polyamory

t1mman · 2017-01-13T01:36:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThorLives · 2017-01-13T08:30:07+00:00

In theory, polyamory is about everyone being cool with being non-monogamous, and having multiple partners.

I have a few poly friends. It's a whole lot more complicated than that because people often try to "lock-down" their partner because they feel a strong connection to them, worry about them running off with someone else, they're not feeling special enough (because their boyfriend/girlfriend wants to run around and meet more people), feeling jealousy, etc. I've heard some of my poly friends say things like 'jealousy is taught to us by society; it's not innate, and we have to resist our social programming' (which I don't believe). In practice, it's a whole lot more complicated, sometimes with some scheming going on to block-out their partner's other partners. I've also seen some petty backbiting that seems like it's really an attempt to insult their partner's other partner. I've certainly seen cases where people just 'put up' with their partner dating around because they know their choices are: put up with the poly thing, or leave the relationship entirely.

My personal opinion is that when women are poly, it's generally out of a desire to have a bunch of men (or women, if they're into that) pursue them, and get all that honeymoon feeling over and over. Women are pretty passive and privileged in the dating world, so they get to have attention and affection directed at them without needing to put much effort into it. Plus, they get variety (if they're into that).

When men are into poly, I think it's because they want to sleep with as many women as they can while still having a reliable girlfriend at home that they can sleep with if they strike-out at the bar when they're trying to pickup someone. As men, we love some sexual variety, so poly is a good outlet for that. I just don't like when men use "I'm poly" as a public-relations device to sleep with as many women as they can. If they called themselves "a player", then women would be turned off, but by calling it "polyamory" they get to play it up like "I just have so much love to give".

I've also seen some of my poly friends start acting all monogamous when they find someone that they really like, and suddenly the idea of sleeping around with someone new doesn't feel good enough to outweigh the jealousy that comes from knowing their partner is dating around with other people.

Xanarxses · 2017-01-13T15:19:10+00:00

It's just a fancy word for sleeping around where everyone fucks everyone and everyone is ok with everyone fucking everyone.

I don't see the reason for any special denominations. Basic shit.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2017-01-13T05:18:27+00:00

Poly is a very broad term. Some people use it as a cover for cheating, but there are many people who genuinely practice one of its many flavors.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-01-13T14:58:03+00:00

Is polyamory just one person in a relationship wanting to fuck other people and the other person just putting up with it...because thats what is seems like to me.

As people have implied or outright said, it can be a lot of things.

It can be what you've said, when one person or both of them should be letting go, but instead they're agreeing to this arrangement that makes neither of them happy.
Sometimes people are just wired to love more than one person at once. In this case, it's about as much a choice as being gay or straight, in some ways.
Some people are actually wired for only one person but push for polyamory because they can't handle being alone and want the option to shop around while with their SO.

I'm sure there are other possibilities.

2017-01-14T02:21:32+00:00

Functioning open relationship here: it's possible to do it with all parties happy.

sorcererbro · 2017-01-13T05:17:17+00:00

As a polyamorist will tell you, it's everyone being able to have multiple partners and abiding by the boundaries of the relationship that are set through communication. It's about trust and upholding that trust, being able to love more than one person, ...

In reality, it's a trap. It's trivial for a young woman to find more partners, and she will. It's nontrivial for you to find more partners, or you would have never agreed to be exclusive with your girlfriend. When your combined circle finds out that you're letting her fuck other guys, the girls will be really turned off by you, and the going will get harder. This is the most common trajectory.

If you want to make it work, then you need multiple partners to begin with, and to keep recruiting more.

Title	Polyamory
Author	ArtOfPhranger
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	January 13, 2017 12:59 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5nne5f/polyamory/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/polyamory.1418514 https://theredarchive.com/post/1418514

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