What are the best books for transforming how you interact with women?

Tjodleik · 2017-02-17T01:49:03+00:00

In no particular order:

Models by Mark Manson.
No more Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover.
The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris.
The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters.
You Can Have What You Want by Michael Neill.
Feeling Good: The new mood therapy by David D. Burns.

Only the first one is directly related to interaction with women per se, but since I had confidence issues up the wazoo and I have struggled with severe social anxiety for most of my life, the other books helped change my way of thinking and thus changed how I interact with women.

With that said, reading alone will get you nowhere. These books are just tools, and you can't learn how to use them properly without experience. So get your ass out there and practice, practice, practice.

2017-02-17T07:06:18+00:00

I think there's great improvement that can come from reading up on this stuff, and after all you can't always be out hitting on women. That said, in anything theory is half the battle, practice/experience is the other. Get your ass out there, and read up stuff. But mostly, get that experience.

5 books that I've enjoyed and felt improved my relationships with women, in the order I read them. u/Tjodleik already listed two of them which I highly recommend.

How to be a 3% Man by Corey Wayne
- In hindsight I can nitpick this book, but it did wonders for helping me understand women better. It's got a lot of solid stuff, drawing from other books and ideas and putting it in easy to understand terms. And it got me into self-improvement, despite the cringy cover and name it spoke to me enough to lead me to read many more books and jumpstarted me making big improvements in my life. The author also has an extensive youtube channel with a lot of solid vids.
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- You have to remember that this isn't a dating book and that you shouldn't completely change yourself to please others, but this book has great pointers for making conversation and the like. Can help in all walks of life, just don't become a super people pleaser because of it. TLDR: Remember people's names, be genuine and make the conversation about the other person as much as possible.
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
- Again this isn't strictly a dating advice book, but it talks a lot about people pleasing, the anxieties that may cause such behavior, why it's unhealthy, etc.
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
- Definitely the most spiritual book on this list, it helped me understand my manhood much better. To be perfectly honest it get's a little hooky at times but there's fantastic stuff in here. Highly recommend checking this one out. How to be a 3% Man draws much from this book.
Models by Mark Manson
- Simple, straight to the point, easy and fun read. It's very similar to the first book I recommended, just an all around solid book full of solid advice for picking up women, with honesty! Unlike much dating advice stuff Mark doesn't ask you bullshit, just to be yourself, unapologetically.

Honorable Mention: I'm currently reading My Secret Garden which is a collection and analysis of a bunch of sexual fantasies from women that was written in the seventies. It's helping me get over the last of my "but women are innocent and don't like sex" bullshit that get's hammered into so many of our heads.

Also there's a ton of great content on r/getsuave, even if it's not very active.

Kitt_55 · 2017-02-17T13:49:13+00:00

Fundamentals of Female Dynamics by Michael Knight
Models by Mark Manson

Read those two first, so that you start with a healthy mindset.

Bonus books that contain a lot of applicable and related knowledge:

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini
The Red Queen by Matt Ridley
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

gryphonbones · 2017-02-17T15:13:47+00:00

Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Liquorpuki · 2017-02-17T17:02:39+00:00

Open Her by Karen Brody - like Deida, it's about masculine vs feminine polarity. Unlike Deida, which is more spiritual, this book is actionable and was written by a woman. Most valuable part is she draws on her past experience and tells you how it feels to a woman when a guy is masculine vs non-masculine I really believe every piece of seduction advice that works, does so because it ties into displaying masculine polarity
Solution to Social Anxiety by Aziz Gazipura. Besides doing a helluva job explaining social anxiety and how to get rid of it, this book has the best layman's breakdown of self-differentiation I've read. As much as I like Models, Mark Manson did a crappy job explaining neediness and boundaries. Lot of guys have problems with women because they're needy. Bowenian Family Systems Theory introduced a concept called self-differentiation, which explains how needy behavior arises from our parents screwing us up. The concept is echoed in Attachment Theory, with anxious attachment types. Anyone who gets all panicky and starts stalking a girl's facebook when she doesn't text you back could benefit from understanding how they're wrapping their identity around her validation because they're poorly self-differentiated. Notice how "No More Mr Nice Guy" is basically a primer on self-differentiation and how those of us with weak dads or type A moms screwed us up. And strong self-differentiation is tied to masculine polarity - a masculine guy knows who he is and what he wants, and isn't gonna rely on the woman he's going after to give him that information
Books on Relationship balance and health - more LTR than seduction related but what I've been reading about for the past year or so. Attached by Levine and Heller is a good overview of Attachment Theory. Passion Trap is a really accessible book on how unhealthy relationships swing the balance of power one way or the other. Robert Firestone writes a lot of books focusing on the Fantasy Bond, which is a psychological defense mechanism that messes with intimacy health and causes these swings. Most of this comes from Family Systems Theory and if you wanna go deeper, you can tie Personality Disorders into this information. AKA part of what makes dating a BPD girl so difficult is the relationship balance swings all over the place and you can't do anything about it.
Close Encounters by Guerrero - this is a textbook - more academic than directly actionable but a pretty thorough list of cool psych concepts for people that actually like learning about this kind of stuff. There's a disconnect between PUA advice and academic psych concepts, even though they're essentially the same rules. One day they'll converge. Until then, once in a while you'll get a smart PUA who sees the similarity

rudyLS · 2017-02-17T05:32:47+00:00

Best books are go out in the field.

Title	What are the best books for transforming how you interact with women?
Author	britian988
Upvotes	14
Comments	9
Date	February 17, 2017 1:28 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5ujdqw/what_are_the_best_books_for_transforming_how_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-are-the-best-books-for-transforming-how-you.1420381 https://theredarchive.com/post/1420381

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