I've been sitting here for ten minutes, trying to figure out if it makes sense to post this here. I figured that it doesn't, really, but some guys might come from a similar background and might be able to help?

Until last summer, I had had a crush on a girl from university. I found out she has a boyfriend but she only met him a few weeks earlier. So, I did have a lot of time to make a move, but didn't. I grew up being taught to be respectful towards women and that expression of sexual interest is creepy, unwelcome and threatening. So my plan basically was to become her friend, be entirely asexual as a mark of respect and then...hope for a miracle, I guess?

Since then, I've done a lot of reading about dating, sexual shame, and, for obvious reasons, Nice Guys. And it made me realize how dishonest I've been with that girl. Hell yea I wanted to have sex with her! But I basically lied to her because I was taught that was respectful. Now I feel terrible about the whole episode because I genuinely do care about her as a friend as well and being so dishonest to her makes me feel guilty.

The thing is, feeling guilty about being dishonest doesn't mean I feel comfortable about being sexual now. I still feel the same guilt about showing sexual interest. So now I feel terrible about any potential interaction with a girl. If I hide my sexuality, I'm lying, if I am honest about it, I'm creepy, objectifying and perverted.

Anyone ever been in a similar situation? How did you overcome it?
(And before you suggest it, yes I did read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and didn't find it helpful.)