So, I can't close.

Mastros34 · 2014-09-29T00:12:37+00:00

Remember your abc's. Always be closing. It may be your just too scared of rejection so you need to work on that. Try making yourself approach people. And as you become more and more confident (doing what you enjoy etc) you'll care less and less about rejection.

Azothlike · 2014-09-29T03:47:02+00:00

The penultimate objective in most of these "night out" scenarios, if your ultimate objective is closing, is to be somewhere alone with the girl of your affection, where it's appropriate to cozy up.

Rapport is only the first step. Many people can build rapport instantly, if not within the first ~5 minutes, with your average girl. After rapport comes sensuality, which involves taking the conversation in risqué sexual directions at least in part, and escalating steps of physical contact. After sensuality comes sexuality, which involves the courage and confidence to make overt sexual gestures, such as kissing or what have you.

In short, "laughing and having fun" is not nearly enough. In fact, those are occasionally the wrong direction. The fastest line between meeting a girl and having sex with her does not involve laughing and general fun-having, but actually involves the quiet, lip-bitten battle between "I'm aroused by what he's doing" and "I don't want to seem easy", for the most part.

Now, you don't have to take the fastest line. Laughing and having fun can definitely happen. But you should also have moments of sexual tension. You should put your arm around her when you're watching something and say "c'mere", you should tell her you're going to kiss her in the dim privacy of a parking lot outside the restaurant, before you even get home. Etc.

In short, just do it. Gradually. Go from where you are now(0% sensuality), to where you want to be(100% sensuality), one step at a time. If you're attractive enough and you move up those percentages gradually enough(these two restraints are often directly proportional; the more attractive you are in comparison to her, the less gradual you have to be), she will want to also.

That, in my experience, has been the fundamental gist of "closing". Just do it. Gradually. Be prepared to move on if she shuts you down.

*Unless you're on a college campus. Then you need to add a step where you take out a tape recorder and ask them to emphatically agree to sexual conduct.

*edit for saving your education

[deleted] · 2014-09-29T04:16:32+00:00

Brazilian men have a philosophy: I have a cock, hence she likes me.

boom. AA gone. No fear of rejection and abundance mentality all on one.

neolithicera · 2014-09-29T00:31:02+00:00

If your goal is to close always be escalating with the girl.

Now for the friends part. Have fun things to do and invite them. You have to be able to bro down hard to get close to guys and everybody does it differently.

asd1100 · 2014-09-29T04:16:05+00:00

Do you build up sexual tension or do you just have a pleasant chat?

Do they have a reason to hang out with you?

oldredder · 2014-09-29T08:45:25+00:00

Either you have no idea how to escalate, body language, touching, showing real intent to get laid that leaves no doubt, kissing, or.... you no real intent. If you're playing around just for some kind of emotional validation instead of getting the deed done, maybe that's why.

Are you going home alone and frustrated? Or do you feel like you had a good time out & maybe you'll escalate more next time, like you seriously don't give a fuck that you didn't pick up?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIU1WAdEu-g https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3PRAgwyKDA (2 hours 32 min, I watched it all, it's actually very good) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfFsnm7mk1c

charai_life · 2014-09-29T04:52:46+00:00

You can build rapport, now you need to escalate. Try the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder.

http://www.vindicarlo.com/DiCarlo%20Escalation%20Ladder%20-%20vindicarlo.com.pdf

Title	So, I can't close.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	12
Date	September 28, 2014 11:27 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2hqmgc/so_i_cant_close/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/so-i-cant-close.142467 https://theredarchive.com/post/142467

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