Is this misandry?

VeganSumo · 2024-03-08T15:50:31+00:00

Most people I know don’t even know there is a men’s day. Also I kind of see Valentine’s day as a second women’s day. I’ve had many jobs where they gave cheap gifts (it’s the tought that count!) only to women.

DR-L1gma · 2024-03-08T23:55:20+00:00

I've been a lurker for a bit, but I want to take part in this community more, so I hope this is ok to share.

This is just a personal want, but I'd like International Men's Day to be spreading awareness of men's mental health and suicide awareness.

There has always been this veil on suicide rates as a whole, regardless of gender, but it is certainly eye-opening to see the statistics.

Have a great day, everyone. <3

dw87190 · 2024-03-08T19:43:14+00:00

Neither my boss nor her wife give a fuck about international women's day lol

NoDecentNicksLeft · 2024-03-08T18:10:27+00:00

I don't even know when Men's Day is supposed to be, and I vaguely recall there may be three different days for that, so it's obviously not as established or clear-cut as Women's Day, so I don't expect any wishes (again, wouldn't even know which day to expect them on), but 'every day is men's day' is obviously misandry, and 'same day as world toilet day' is, as you say, dehumanizing and completely unacceptable on its own regardless of the whole gender thing, just rude and the person shouldn't get to use their gender as an out-of-jail card to avoid societal backlash for that rudeness.

So I wouldn't say that the lack of celebration or promotion of whichever day is Men's Day is necessarily driven by misandry, though it may well be so driven, but the moment we get to those disparaging remarks, the closer it gets to misandry.

I do notice, however, that stuff like 'every other day is men's day' is perhaps driven not by an actual hate of men but maybe by a deep sense of injustice at real or perceived slights, threats, humiliations or whathaveyou, some of which are probably real per se but taken out of proportion. So it can be a woman simplistically and mistakenly interpreting her difficulties in life as a form or sign of discrimination or misogyny, seeing discrimination or a gendered handicap where there is none, rather than an active misandrist. Nevertheless, it is, as a statement, quite far gone and should be met with some sort of response.

I think women should be asked to entertain explanations other than misandry or discrimination and make some effort to avoid falling into easy, simplistic patterns — just like men.

As for the more extreme, patently rude stuff like 'toilet day', that's one point where I think society needs to stop cutting rude people slack because of their gender. There's no need to even mention misandry, it's more of a question that neither being male nor being female can be a valid excuse to be really, really rude. I believe it's actually misogynistic in a way (a sort of internalized misogyny) to claim that a person's female sex is an excuse or licence to be rude, because that implies a greater challenge in acting politely or a comparative deficiency in self-control, which is obviously not a proposition to be seriously considered. So the way I feel, me having a confrontation with a woman about that is first of all me confronting internalized misogyny — in a person who is accusing me of misogyny no less. So I fight misogyny while being accused of egaging it.

As for the misogyny side of it, well, I believe we do need to ask a certain unfortunately large subset of the ladies to do a better job minding the equality of the standards they are applying. First of all, we simply need to start reacting to at least the more extremely prejudiced remarks, where it's clearly no longer a joke but certain important lines have in fact been crossed, mostly dehumanization.

Oh but I don't want to contradict you. You're certainly on to something. If the proverbial radio host has a proverbial calendar that says Women's Day on one day and Men's Day on some other one specific day, and only one of those days gets mentioned on the air, then obviously some sort of inequality is there. It's just that having to put up with the disparaging remarks feels much more subjectingly hurtful to me than not having my day.

It can be that you are on to something and that some positive celebration could counterbalance the negativity, as opposed to just trying to curtail the negativity without counterbalancing it. This reminds me of a certain life story I heard in a religious context, where a lady decided it was more difficult for her to cut down on the negative feedback than to offset with a greater amount of positive feedback in her marriage. Less scold was difficult to achieve than more praise, for a similar net end effect. Perhaps we need to normalize speaking positively of men (as opposed to mentioning us either in a negative light or not at all), and things will figure themselves out eventually.

And Happy Women's Day. :)

Uedakiisarouitoh · 2024-03-09T10:17:53+00:00

Something I do to spread awareness , I have a mission , send ten mates special messages and preface with “today is national mens day , ……… “ . That’s how I personally get it out there . I always share a lot of men’s mental health and tag men’s month at the same time

Title	Is this misandry?
Author	christina_murray_
Upvotes	31
Comments	7
Date	March 8, 2024 3:20 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/EverydayMisandry
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/everydaymisandry/comments/1b9qin1/is_this_misandry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/EverydayMisandry/is-this-misandry.1427028 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427028

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