Bad Oneitis

Selecto_ · 2024-03-01T02:55:41+00:00

I understand your pain, it's really awful. I've been in your situation many times and every time I felt sick in the stomach just thinking what could have been.

Honestly I don't think I'll ever stop feeling like this after things end with a girl I really like, because that's how I am. However you need to understand that just because you feel bad, it doesn't mean that the general situation is bad.

You and her spent time together and both of you got what you wanted from this short interaction: meeting up, talking and knowing each other. It was something that she liked and so did you.

However, after knowing you, she didn't feel the attraction you feel towards her. You cannot change this, you cannot control her feelings and most importantly, you have to accept this.

Put yourself in her shoes: what would you do if you didn't like a girl you met? You would probably do the same as her. Don't think she hates you or you disgust her, that's just your imagination talking, she probably just doesn't see you as the right one. That's all.

I'll tell you my secret on how I control my emotions when things end with a girl I like: I'm grateful that I managed to meet such a wonderful girl and think of it as time well spent. I see it as an investment in myself, an occasion to see what I did wrong and what I did right.

How can you be sad when you've been lucky enough to meet another person who was so great, that you even fell in love with her? You should be happy to have had this opportunity!

Remember to see your interactions with girls not as an investment for the future, but as a "one time only" moment. Just like when you eat something you like: when you finish eating your favorite food, do you cry because you just finished eating it, or are you happy and feel satisfied to have had such a tasty meal? Think about it.

You will get through this, trust me. Hope you found this useful, good luck and stay strong.

bennettca3 · 2024-03-01T21:29:10+00:00

Go see other woman, and make it disappear. Your issues you don’t see enough woman I literally was just thinkijng in my class today. Oh look at these beautiful girls in my class. I’m not interested in any of them because you know what I got like 10 girls my brains getting fucked out already.

Cantrillion · 2024-03-01T16:11:15+00:00

Yup. Put your focus elsewhere. Every thought that runs through your mind about her is training your brain to get better at thinking about her. Neurons that fire together wire together.

Do other things. Get exercise. Hang with friends. When the thoughts come at you, acknowledge them, but then stand up and do something else. You'll hang with friends and your unhappy brain won't even let you enjoy them. For a while. And then one day, you'll find yourself enjoying it again.

unswunghero · 2024-03-01T22:04:49+00:00

The hurt is never gonna go away. You're always gonna remember back and have that twinge of pain when you think of what you did wrong.

But the key is to move on and meet several more women that you like.

Feelings happen any time you start looking into what your future will look like with a specific girl in it and you like what you see. If you don't do this, you can avoid feelings from developing quickly and let them develop at a more natural pace as you experience things together. Let the feelings build from "I like this thing about her that I've experienced in reality and I like how she reacted in this situation" as opposed to "she has this and that trait, we will have a fun time going on a trip or will agree on how to raise kids, etc".

Let things cool off with her and maybe hit her up several months down the line, with no expectations and no thinking about what your future will look like if you rekindle things.

But move on and find someone you like just as much.

Title	Bad Oneitis
Author	Arceethabest
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	March 1, 2024 12:59 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1b3h1r3/bad_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/bad-oneitis.1427385 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427385

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