Hello guys. I have a question. I don't know if any of you can relate more or less, but here is how it goes. I am 28 and most of my life I have been anxious to get things done as quickly and as successfully as possible. I am indeed somewhat of a perfectionist, but not in a pathological/psychotic manner. I just want to get things done and I dislike the fluff and idleness. This evolved in a general nervous and hasty lifestyle. I always walk and talk fast. While I am doing one thing I am thinking of something else in the same time, setting up a plan, rethinking of what I said or what I am going to say, etc. While I don't like being over-stimulated, I think I do a perfect job over-stimulating myself. I have heard comments on how nervous or "into-my-head" I looked (even while grocery-shopping) more than a few times. It's been more than 5 years since I could sleep for more than 7 hours straight (textbook stress symptom)

To clarify: I don't mind being hasty and energetic. On the contrary. This is who I am and it gets the job done. I am not deprived of friends, communication, family, good-paying job, hobbies, and I think this "efficiency" and being on top of my senses got me where I am today. On the other hand it is just that it affects other people around me since it somehow "seeps" into my every interaction. On that ground, I think it (severely) affects my results with game. This nervousness that has been imprinted on my character reflects on the approaches and the general interactions with girls. I still do get anxious around girls that I find attractive and can't think straight around them. I get reactive, loose my confidence and fail their shit-test all the time. Any (rare) success I had was with friends I met through groups and who already knew me quite well. In the field with total strangers I am a total looser. Unfortunately, I am short and slim and not extremely handsome, so all I have is game. This makes it extremely difficult to meet and attract girls from zero.

During the last couple of years I did made a considerable self-improvement effort: found a better job that I really like, made more money, got new fashionable clothes (I dressed extremely casual before), got to go out more, picked up dancing and gym as hobbies, learned to cook, fixed my nutrition, etc. And generally an effort to become more social, give less fucks and be more of a real and mature man. But unfortunately, the downside was that all that led to even more stress. I am also trying to do noFap but generally cannot go for more than 5-10 days, which on the other hand is quite an improvement from where I usually fapped for 2-3 times a day.

Anyway. I have watched several self-improvement and pick-up stuff and I am really good with the theory. I know everyone who teaches self-improvement preaches that the qualities of an attractive man are: confidence, calmness/unreactiveness and ability to dictate his own reality. While I do my best to have the image of an assertive and confident man, (keep proper posture and eye-contact, etc.), and I largely succeed, I feel that my general anxiety/nervousness is always coming through in one way or another and this kills the situation. Well, it is common sense after all. People who look too much "into-their-head", talk fast, move hastily and are generally "reactive" are indeed more unattractive in all situations (not only pick-up). Sometimes I feel that if I could take a deep breath... and clear my mind... things could become a lot better

So the question is what to do to fix this stressed/nervous image and, more importantly, how do you actually become calmer and more centered? How can I stop coming through as desperate/unsuccessful in pick-up? How can I stop coming through as agitated/reactive not only in other social scenarios?. Perhaps the best question would be "How can I approach life in a calmer mind but still be efficient and successful?"

I tried meditation (with the Calm app) for about a week but after that I kept finding excuses as it became more and more kind of "wasted time". I don't drink coffee (only tea) and minimized the added sugar I use to about zero. I don't take any medication that can affect my mood. I drink rarely. I don't smoke or do other drugs.

Thank you for your time