The biggest reason why people have approach anxiety is because they obsess over an idea that they've created using imagination. This idea is usually something like "if she says no or gives me a weird look or doesn't give me her number, it will be embarassing and humilating.."

  When you create this idea in your mind, you must address what causes you to think of failure before attempting anything? For some it will be just pure lack of experience, and others it might be something about their inner game or physical appearance... basically an insecurity.

 

A good way to overcome this is to be open about your insecurity in your approach.. For example:

*"hey, how you doing? i think your attractive.. and i know im a fat guy.. but you know what they say right?" *her: "what" .. *you: "fat guys are more jolly" ..
*Her: "haha" "ehh" "youre so cute but i have a bf"..

*you: "I bet i weigh more than your boyfriend. can i have your number? ive been meaning to take someone like you to this bar i know" *her: i dont give my number out but heres my fb: ..

you: ( +500 exp gained. ) * dopamine reward kicks in *

 

The same can go for other type of insecurities such as a simple lack of experience based anxiety..
*You: "I'm sorry to bother you, but I think your body is amazing.. and to be honest, im totally nervous right now because i dont usually approach strangers"
*her: its okay dont worry ..
*you: "i would love to take you out sometime" (you are more likely to say "can i take you out sometime??" . which is fine too)..
* her: "sorry i have to run.." or "sorry im not interested"

*you: "can i run with you?" or "alright no problem. you're beautiful have a nice day" (100+ exp points) * dopamine reward *.. bit of shame too from perceived failure.. but its all progress

 

Two tips

1) Starting off, challenge yourself by this... Tell yourself that you will keep badgering her until she HAS to make an excuse to leave the conversation.. Have a "I wont take no" for an answer mindset.. Afterall, its just a conversation. Don't be afraid to say "wait.." ie: "wait.. take my number instead" or ie: "wait, i can't leave without getting some way to contact you.. you're too special".. You're in training.. the goal is to be vulnerable, not be afraid, and not feel shame. This will always be better on your mindset than failure, not getting any number or feeling like you could have done something different. Its persistence.

2)Do approaches when you're hanging out with your friend. DO not have your friend come along with you.. Rather let him linger somewhere in the background or at a distance. When you're with your best friend or a good bud, you are naturally more confident.. and its easier to rebound from girls who turned you down because you can easily joke about it.

 

Starting off, its best to keep things short and simple and try to get the contact info right away.. considering your anxiety will keep you from having an interesting conversation to create rapport. Once you get over the Approach Anxiety.. thats when you can have a bit more lengthier approaches.