How do I maintain eye contact?

Lreme · 2014-10-27T02:24:29+00:00

Practice by maintaining eye contact with other strangers in your life. Cashiers, people on the sidewalk, friends, ... Remember that nobody can complain that you're holding it for too long because they are doing the same.

On a deeper level you should know that this reflex you have is a common subordinate reflex that all humans (and apes) have. You are saying (using body language) that you're below their level. Think about whether this is true and whether you want to send this message.

Spiderman48 · 2014-10-26T22:42:41+00:00

Slow yourself down.

Move deliberately and give yourself 2 seconds extra to react to your environment. It's not so much time that you will seem strange, but other people will notice. A girl makes eye contact with you and your gaze lingers on her for 2 seconds, and you will seperate yourself from the crowd...

It takes practice, but just try to actively engage in eye contact in public with everyone who is open and have a calm, warm demeanor underneath.

fluviant · 2014-10-26T23:26:40+00:00

A good rule of thumb to keep in mind with interactions is the following:

If you feel butterflies in your stomach, you're doing it right.

RedPillsHere · 2014-10-27T01:36:30+00:00

You don't have to start looking at the eyes. Look at the nose, forehead, hair, lips, whatever you're comfortable with. After that you work on direct eye contact.

oldredder · 2014-10-27T04:24:27+00:00

Either you don't know how to aim your eyeballs or you have fear like a young child.

Hold the eye contact & show your real intent. Are you interested? Show it in your eyes & smile. Are you uninterested but want to give a polite smile, like you're a salesman & she's a customer? Do that.

Sales is usually far from a glorious or highpaid job in retail but every man should do it. It gives you de-sensitization from freaking the hell out without reason for making conversation with total strangers including tons of hot girls. Because it's your damn job. Then when it's not your job, which should be as soon as you are able to handle this by reflex, you have the reflex.

throwaway-aa2 · 2014-10-27T01:42:09+00:00

This will change your life if you interpret and use it correctly, ready?

Go for fear. You have to learn how to be afraid.

The problem with us, is that we're not able to let ourselves feel fear readily. When I'm out and about and I want to be better with girls, all I have to do is tell myself to get scared. With this outlook, your entire way you go about things changes. You look at girls you know are going to look back, and you hold that eye contact until they fucking break it. And every second you feel that fear, you've succeeded.

The feeling of fear will push you to do all the things you're scared to do. If I challenge myself to be afraid... I instantly become more confident because I'm immediately doing all the things we're scared off... eye contact, talking to women, being polarizing, not smiling a lot...

So yeah embrace fear. Trust me, and report back. Walk down a street, and make eye contact with every fucking bitch. But that's not going to be how you approach it (if you do, you're likely to fail). Walk down the street, and challenge yourself to put yourself in a position where you are deathly afraid, where your heart feels funny, a feeling of not being safe. That will push you to do what you need to do.

newlifeasredpill · 2014-10-27T01:58:19+00:00

Stare at her mouth instead. She won't know difference

Zackcid · 2014-10-27T02:23:19+00:00

There's no quick fix. It's about core-confidence. If you look away, it means your sub-psyche is telling you to look away because you're not "worthy" or you might have some insecurities.

How to fix this? Raise confidence by bettering your life (gym, reading, making friends, activities) and practice. Start practicing with your guy friends, then go on to your girl friends you're not attracted to, and soon you'll be doing it like it's second nature.

SuperPhiSwag · 2014-10-27T03:22:55+00:00

Listen to my advice.. this will be the best thing you've ever heard in your life.

Okay so when you're walking.. once when the girl is about 10-20 or so feet from you, start staring her right in the LEFT eye. Do not look away UNTIL she looks away. Do not say hi UNTIL she says hi. Do not smile UNTIL she smiles. When she says hi.. say "hi" not "hey" or "hello."

Doing the above will guarantee you a natural vibe + success.

[deleted] · 2014-10-27T03:32:20+00:00

Find eye, stare into eye, don't look away.

EDIT: In the interest of not shitposting up the board. Practice with your family first. I try too look at the point between their two eyes. Also, you don't have to stare them down the whole time. Looking away intermixed with good eye contact is a good way to look just the right amount of disinterested without making the other person think they are boring you. Like all things in life it takes practice, practice with cashiers, clerks etc. But start with your family because they won't really judge or care.

SikPon11 · 2014-10-27T00:49:06+00:00

Stop being a pussy?

Title	How do I maintain eye contact?
Author	TheBlackDahliaMetal
Upvotes	6
Comments	16
Date	October 26, 2014 10:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2keozm/how_do_i_maintain_eye_contact/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-maintain-eye-contact.143153 https://theredarchive.com/post/143153

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