Meditation and exercise are really helping with my depression and anxiety.. I was having really bad suicidal thoughts and anxiety attacks. I just finally burnt out from life and the heartbreak and disappointment from this girl set me over the edge.

. I'm really getting to the core of my issues. My depression and anxiety. The toxic thought patterns that lead to this. It's very hard to break said patterns.

Anyways, my issue now is that I'm not living an honest life. My job is unfullfilling, my friends have moved on with their lives , I have no love life (3 years of no sex..it sucks) , my siblings are happy and starting their families, I live with my parents at age 25, the last girl I fell hard for and still miss is fucking all kinds of guys from tinder.

It just hurts. It really fucking hurts. Especially the part with the girl i loved. And I'm not going lie to myself and blame porn or jacking off. The truth is I only do that to ease the pain. Same with alcohol. It really sucks guys, I'm overwhelmed because my life is making me unhappy and for me to be happy I have to completely change my life, maybe move somewhere new and start new.

I have a long way to go from here. And no I'm not suicidal anymore, still a little depressed but I needed to vent a bit and this is a platform for that.

It's amazing how quickly life changes and things can go from good to bad. But I will continue on my journey and I promise all of you, I will get better, I will come back stronger and as a winner. I don't have a plan yet but I'll get there. I've been a loser for far too long now.

I'll fix my money situation, go travel a bit, meet some new friends, do things that truly make me happy. Then girls will come naturally. Maybe that means i have to start all over again. Maybe then I'll hit up the girl who broke my heart and try to avenge that loss.

So for all of you who read this, thank you, wish me luck on my journey to redeem my life and I wish you luck on yours