Missing lay ups. How to convert?

wolfbee16 · 2017-09-08T16:58:41+00:00

I understand completely. Its like when we know 100% their attracted to us we dont know what to do. Im curious to see what anyone else says because i have similar frustrations .

NTSpike · 2017-09-08T17:12:32+00:00

If she ever gives strong interest like that, touch her immediately. Take her hand. Pull her close. It'll change your state (turn you on), turn her on, shows a lot of confidence, and escalates the interaction and moves it forward. It's also relatively easy to do no matter where your energy levels are at.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-09-09T01:35:56+00:00

1

I don't say ANYTHING. It's not awkward but it was the perfect opportunity to open her.

What are you talking about? She already opened you. All you had to do was get out of your head and hit the ball back.

You were trying to think about the right thing to say, riiiight? Well oddly enough, that's the wrong way to think of it. The answer was right in front of you. You had to pull out of your head and ground yourself in the world around you.

Observe. Ever see any of the Terminator movies? Know when they go into Scan Mode and just take everything in constantly? Do that. Not in-depth analysis. Just take the information in.
Share observations. Who gives a fuck if it's obvious. Most people don't pay attention so if you do, you'll find yourself the one eyed king in the land of the blind.

2

How this applies to your situation: you were sweating how to get "in" when that isn't going to be an issue when someone is interested. You're caught up in how to make stuff happen, when the good stuff doesn't need to be made to happen.

Instead you simply needed to talk about what you saw. And investigated what she's like as a person. Same sorts of questions you might ask a dude.

So how's your night going?
How do you guys know each other?
Did you grow up here?

And just off of these questions, she's going to give you something you can follow up on.

You don't need something perfect. If she's interested, she'll give you something to work with and she'll hold up her end of the conversation.

As that girl did multiple times.

Lambdal7 · 2017-09-08T20:26:34+00:00

Lack of social skills. But you're already improving them by analyzing what you did wrong and learning from your mistakes.

abstractpickupartist · 2017-09-08T21:38:21+00:00

Just not when the spotlight is on me. I never do well when the attention is all on me.

Self-esteem, maybe? Can't believe someone is interested in you?

Or maybe that you are relying on routines (not necessarily canned stuff, but general progressions), and she through you off script.

My suggestion would be run through some of these kind of scenarios in your head. Have some canned responses prepared. /u/NTSpike has one approach that sounds good.

Run through this in your head (ONCE, not obsessively), what should you have said? What would have worked better. Save the idea for next time.

Or just say "yes", agree and amplify.

Also, try an improv class, or Toastmasters. Both teach thinking & talking on your feet.

RunItGunIt · 2017-09-08T18:44:07+00:00

Just stop being an idiot and live and learn. Don't make the same mistake twice

NoloRadio · 2017-09-12T22:41:43+00:00

I completely understand the utter levels of frustration here. Same shit has happened to me plenty of times. There's just something about my brain that doesn't answer sudden questions in anything but the most logical way possible. I've made big improvements on pretty much everything else in my life, but this one is like hitting my head against a brick wall. I just don't have the reaction time.

Saucepan95 · 2017-09-08T21:14:53+00:00

Think of it this way... You're too good for these peasants and fuck what some of these strangers think.. It's a bit cocky and sassy but it gets the job done. Live your life knowing you have thousands of options and if this one girl doesn't like you, so what? Next.

Xerbek · 2017-09-09T02:26:28+00:00

Maybe stick to 3 pointers instead.

Title	Missing lay ups. How to convert?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	14
Date	September 8, 2017 3:04 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6yvbi7/missing_lay_ups_how_to_convert/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/missing-lay-ups-how-to-convert.1433359 https://theredarchive.com/post/1433359

Comments