I'm a 25 y/o virgin and now I'm too afraid to hook up with a woman

MisterBurgerFace · 2017-10-08T21:53:21+00:00

You're experiencing the same problem nearly all virgins over the age of 21 experience: You are letting your virginity eat away at your soul.

I'll tell you what I tell all the other virgins who pretend like virginity is a source of shame. Don't let your virginity keep you down. The only reason you are ashamed is because you are letting societies interpretation of 'normal' get to your head.

Take a deep breath and realize that there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. Now make a decision about whether you really want to and are ready to lose your virginity. Don't just say 'yes' because you feel obliged to 'fit in'. Really think about it. Are you ready?

If you think you are then just go out there and start talking to girls. Get rejected. Have fun. Have sex. Get herpes. Welcome to the club.

Oh, and if you think being an overweight virgin is bad, I was a virgin for a LONG time and there was nothing wrong with me on the outside. Every day I looked into the mirror I would feel like I was wasting another opportunity. It was terrible.

I got over it when I realized I didn't need to live for anyone else's expectations.

SedditQ2 · 2017-10-08T19:15:30+00:00

You could try to find that cool girl; or alternatively you could just play a bit of a numbers game and go after a lot of girls you don't really care about (like random chicks at bars, or tinder girls ect) and then you won't care what they think and you can just get the first time over with.

NunoHimself · 2017-10-08T19:30:20+00:00

So you're getting approach anxiety basically, based on fear of rejection. Approach someone, ridicule yourself and get rejected on purpose. Several times actually. You'll lose the fear. Your brain literally thinks you're gonna die if you do it, so you need to show your brain that you'll not die with enough reference experiences and the fear is gone. Basic psychology.

SatinDoll15 · 2017-10-08T19:22:29+00:00

I don't think you should stress. If you're confident after your weight loss, are nice (or at least friendly with girls you like), have ok clothes, a job, and good hygiene, just be sure you have conversation skills and things to talk about. You'll get laid if you reach out. Try dating apps, speed dating events and networking. Ask people out

Chabubu · 2017-10-09T04:15:57+00:00

Just jump into online dating. Find a nice but average girl and date for awhile. Find out what you do and don't like about her. Keep focusing on personal development. After awhile, move on. If you are growing, you won't want to stay with your first girlfriend forever unless she is growing too.

You have to date a bunch and determine the qualities you want in a life partner and the qualities that you don't. Therefore, you don't need a 10/10 as your first girlfriend. You're probably not a 10/10 yourself. You have to become whatever you hope to acquire. So right now you could be with a 6/10 who is a good person and looking to grow/gain experience and enjoy dating.

Just go on dates. You don't have to hook up after the first one, or even the 5 or 10th one. However, eventually you'll both be ready to. Then just explain it honestly like this advice that I heard from someone else:

Tell your girlfriend, or date, or whoever you maybe intimate with: "I grew up avoiding having sex because I wanted to save myself for my future spouse. Both for religious reasons and because I felt that that would make my marriage more successful. But now as I've gotten older, my views have evolved. I've decided I want to get some experience in these areas in order to find out what I do and don't want in a long term relationship and even a marriage. What could be worse than getting into a marriage and learning that my needs and expectations aren't being met, and vise versa? Therefore, I've decided I do want to be intimate with someone before I commit long term. I don't want to do one night stands or sleep around, but once I'm in a steady relationship I think it's appropriate. It's just a bit awkward now that I'm 25 because I feel like I'm behind the curve. I hope that doesn't bother you."

Anyways, just my perspective. Good luck.

2017-10-09T07:38:05+00:00

lmao just don't tell them you're a virgin and read up on how to fuck on /r/sex.

You're overthinking this. It's never too late my friend.

lilstxn · 2017-10-08T19:41:20+00:00

If ur really that scared of talking to girls because ur a virgin maybe think about paying for that first time to get it over with

Title	I'm a 25 y/o virgin and now I'm too afraid to hook up with a woman
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	7
Date	October 8, 2017 6:26 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/753f2y/im_a_25_yo_virgin_and_now_im_too_afraid_to_hook/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-a-25-yo-virgin-and-now-im-too-afraid-to-hook-up.1434952 https://theredarchive.com/post/1434952

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