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I saw my dream girl and I didn't approach

[deleted]

October 17, 2017

1 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Title	I saw my dream girl and I didn't approach
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	33
Date	October 17, 2017 3:01 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/76vrv1/i_saw_my_dream_girl_and_i_didnt_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-saw-my-dream-girl-and-i-didnt-approach.1435389 https://theredarchive.com/post/1435389

Comments

[–][deleted] 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

A lot of the pressure is sexual

Not what I mean. I'm sure you want sex. That's a different thing. Everyone has desires like hunger, thirst, sex drive, etc.

I'm talking about how you're thinking about this girl. If you walked up to a girl you weren't sure about, that's less pressure. But ho-LY shit, this girl was straight out of your MF-ing dreams! You're creating an artificial deficit for yourself by imagining her as being this way. Especially when you don't. even. know. her.

She might be fucking lame. You never know. Clothing and diet aren't personality. You are really over-inflating this girl. You can't say shit other than she's attractive on the outside. Not until you talk to her.

And honestly, not really until the morning after you sleep with a girl or date her for a few weeks/months, do you even begin to know her.

But anyways, how could I get outside myself & not be so stuck in my head?

You have to police yourself. You control your thoughts. It's your damn head. Tell yourself that if you have to. If you notice that you're in your head:

You could start by simply focusing on something around you. Which would involve external focus.
You might even make eye contact with someone and interact with them. Even just smile or whatever.

[–]midnight_toker22 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

/u/recyclablebanthas nailed it; this girl could be a stuck up bitch, or she could be a complete fucking bore. You have no idea, because you've never talked to her. The only thing that qualifies her as a "dream girl" is the fantasy you've built up in your head, based on little more than her appearance and choice of grocery store - it's literally a dream. She could even be a very nice person who you get along well with - but whatever she is, she's not what you imagine her to be.

The thing that helps me when I have a hard time cold approaching women out in public is, I think about the possible actions I could take, and the possible outcomes of those actions.

So, Option 1: You avoid talking to her, because you're too scared.

Outcome 1) I'm sure you don't need to imagine what the outcome is here - you go home without her number, you have no idea if she would have liked you or not, and you're mad at yourself for being too big of a pussy to talk to her. Queue the self-loathing thoughts and downward spiral of self-confidence.

Option 2: You man up go talk to her.

Outcome 2a) She rejects you. You go home without her number, but at least you know you gave it a shot and it didn't work out. You can be proud of the fact that you overcame your fears and approached, you gained some experience, and you move on with your life. You won't be so scared to approach next time, because you fear of rejection already happened and it didn't kill you.

Outcome 2b) She actually likes you! You go home WITH her number, beaming with pride and confidence. What happens next is anyone's guess, but in that moment, you took a risk and were rewarded for it.

When you frame it this way, it's pretty easy to make the right choice.

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