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[–]eyes-no-eyes 23 points24 points25 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Bruh, you escalated so hard your wanted level went up two stars and the police came.
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]NunoHimself 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It's true tho lol, be smoother. Before the mouth, the neck/cheek, try it out. It's not a light switch, it's a volume knob.
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]NunoHimself 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly. If you get in a shower and decrease the temperature of the water little by little, you'll be in cold water and it's fine. If you jump into a cold shower, you see your life passing in front of your eyes and you became a female.
[–]Yass_King 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
If she’s ok with your general physical affection but won’t do certain things (whether kissing on the lips or more) because she insists she’s not “easy,” that is not a rejection. That’s just her telling you she needs you to slow down a bit for her to feel comfortable and not like a slut, even if she’s not actually doing anything slutty.
So dial it back a bit, don’t act frustrated or entitled, but maintain affection and fun. Eventually (possibly over days) she’ll get comfortable and let you go further. But only do this if you’re patient enough for it. Otherwise move on.
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]Yass_King 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Depends on the girl. A lot of times (not always) they just don’t want to be seen kissing in front of others, so the cure is to be alone with them, and in tune with what pace they find comfortable.
You can also try disengaging for a bit when they demur. Not in a rude way, but just sort of giving them space and time to think while you go and do other things, talk to other people, whatever.
A change in setting can help too. This creates the illusion that more time has passed than actually has. Combined with above, this could mean going from a social setting to more one-on-one.
Then there’s all the other potential factors that you may not know about. She could still be getting over a relationship, for example. That’s going to be harder to deal with than just general reluctance to kiss, etc.
[–]Yass_King 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Last response before I need to go.
You’re making the mistake of thinking that if you leave a girl at the club, she’ll quickly get intercepted by another dude and you’ll lose your opportunity. Your instinct should be the opposite - don’t be so insecure about her being snatched up, first of all, but also, oftentimes leaving her for a bit can increase your chances.
If you made a positive impression on her - but especially if you were connecting on some physical level - she’s not just going to forget you. When you leave, she’ll wonder where you went, and even miss you a bit. Then when you return, she’s suddenly excited to see you. This is where you might be able to turn up the heat or see if she’ll go somewhere else with you.
This has happened to me many times in club settings. I’ll be dancing with some girls, having a good time. Then after a while I decide I’ve been with them long enough and don’t want to cheapen my presence, so to speak, so I wander, engage other girls, get a drink, whatever. Eventually I come back, and sure, often there’s other dudes trying to work the girls I was dancing with. But then they see me, and the look in their eyes is almost “thank god!”
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
To be honest, I don't have the patience though, in fact I don't even get their numbers or remember names. What is the best way to make her feel comfortable?
Tell me you got the number of the girl in this story.
Also, you don't "make her feel comfortable." You were doing what you needed to, it sounds like. Striking a balance between respecting her boundaries and showing what you want.
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Some things you might consider thinking about:
Why would you kiss on a girl, if you weren't very interested in her?
Why be that persistent, with a girl you aren't very interested in?
If you at least wanted sex with her, why wouldn't you have gotten a number? Sex isn't usually going to happen in the first meeting.
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
__1__
I was holding her waist and giving her kisses in the cheek (she enjoyed this.) I am not interested enough for her to show emotional attachment
I was holding her waist and giving her kisses in the cheek (she enjoyed this.)
I am not interested enough for her to show emotional attachment
Couple things:
I wasn't suggesting that you show emotional attachment.
Getting a phone number isn't emotional attachment. Neither is meeting up for something casual.
Be wary because those kiss on the cheek could have been interpreted as "emotional attachment," if you don't know what you're doing.
__2__
if I do feel interested enough I will ask her for her number.
Again, why would you waste your time trying to escalate on a girl you don't have interest in?
If you spend your time trying to "game" girls you have no interest in, you risk fucking yourself up by acclimating yourself to getting good at attracting women you aren't into.
[–]viniransou 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That's the problem with this "game" studies. It just turns you in a "cold machine of hitting on women". I was on it a couole years ago, got plenty attention from women, more than I had my whole life, but it fucking changes you...
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It just turns you in a "cold machine of hitting on women". I was on it a couole years ago, got plenty attention from women, more than I had my whole life, but it fucking changes you...
That is the dark side. The rabbit hole into Wonderland. :|
It's easier than a lot of guys think to find themselves getting addicted to all this, like Style did.
[–]viniransou 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To all the newbies on game: "With great powers come great reponsabilities". And this responsabilities are about your own mental health amd sanity. To secure this, the important rule is: Use the game knowledge only when you are REALLY interested and attracted.
Cool fact that I didn't even get sex, I got addicted only by the women attention, how I just managed to entertain them. I think I didn't get that much in life
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Friday I went to a party and when I danced with thr girl we started to talk. I did pretty well guiding the conversation,
Good start, but you don't need to "guide" the conversation, if that means something like "control" or "dominate." In fact, talking too much, or strong-arming the conversation is usually bad.
If you mean that you were guiding, by getting her to talk about herself or open up in general, then that's a good thing.
but at some point I wanted to kiss her and she dodged the kiss. Well, it wasn't much of a rejection, because she still let me get even closer to her. I was holding her waist and giving her kisses in the cheek (she enjoyed this.) She just kept saying she wasn't easy.
You're worried about nothing.
Sounds like you tried, she didn't want it, and you remained aware of the fact that you were still welcome in her space. Sounds like you were still in tune, but still trying to see what was possible.
The whole "I'm not easy," thing is normal. Girls face social and personal consequences for being sexually liberated, sometimes. Slut shaming and sometimes people shame themselves. So she may need to go through a process before she's comfortable. Just provide opportunities and if she's down, she'll go with it.
Then the cops came and I left. Oh and any good guide to kissing?
You were already on the right track. It's not like there's some magic guide that will get any girl to kiss you. You go for it as you did, and they either don't or they do. And either way, you'll know if she's down. She still seems down.
If she hadn't been, your attempt wouldn't have resulted in her saying, "I'm not easy." That's something people usually say when they just don't want to feel bad about doing more.
Just invite her out for a Day Two. Sounds good.
[–]colpua 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Was it more than that you wanted to kiss her? Did she actually seem ready for a kiss on the lips? Escalation really takes escalation. Start with light touching, light eye contact, heavier touching, sustained touching, hugging, heavy eye contact, lip glances, kisses on the head, kisses on the hands, kisses on the neck, kisses on the cheek, THEN on the lips. Warm her up, different positions, different postures, different moves. It kind of parallels the mini-date concept, get her comfortable sequentially and with variety. Also, if I'm really needing to pay attention to kino--sometimes it happens naturally, sometimes not--I take two steps forward, one step back.
As for kissing itself, ask the next girl you kiss for advice, and practice with her. ;) IMO, it's not something you can learn without practice. Definitely make sure your breath is fresh, go easy on the tongue, and take your time and enjoy yourself. First kisses for me are often soft, closed mouth, more of just resting your lips on hers, slowly bringing hands up to her chin or behind her neck and pulling her in a little tighter. Passionate, ya know?
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]eyes-no-eyes 23 points24 points25 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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[–]NunoHimself 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]NunoHimself 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Yass_King 4 points5 points6 points (14 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 2 points3 points4 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]viniransou 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]viniransou 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]colpua 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link