Heading to a party with a good chance my ex that I still have feelings for will be there.

petriomelony · 2017-12-24T14:31:39+00:00

dude she clearly does not respect you, I'm sorry to say. flaking once, potentially excusable. flaking twice with no apologies and a pure cold shoulder?? that's inexcusable bullshit.

that being said, there's no need to bring it up. let the past die, as some people say. but do not think that she will gain respect for you suddenly.

I get that it's difficult with her being your first gf and all. even if you were "clingy", in a good relationship you learn to communicate this better to your partner, and a couple should come to a mutual understanding of how often to hang out to meet both people's needs. the breakup was not purely your fault, as it seems that she did not communicate her needs with you enough. besides, don't you want to be with a girl who is excited to see you? who wants to see you even more than you want to see her?

I've tried staying friends with exs, and I've come to the conclusion that it's unnecessary and unhealthy. I don't want to be there emotionally supporting her while she's fucking new guys. I don't want to hang out with her in a platonic way if I am sexually attracted to her. it's far better for my mental well-being to just cut her from my life and move on.

my advice is to go to the party with a goal of reconnecting with your old high school friends. reminisce about the good times and the hijinks and whatever. if your ex approaches you to talk, be polite but brief. "hey it was nice to see you but I'm going to go reconnect with some people". walk away. I would not approach her otherwise. she's already shown you that she doesn't care about you, unfortunately. actions speak far louder than your friendship status.

best of luck.

Yummmi · 2017-12-24T13:22:51+00:00

If it was me in this position I would move on. Based on the fact that the relationship was very short and the fact that she flaked on you 2 times by just ignoring you. Sounds to me like she just wants you around to boost her ego. With that being said go to the party and just be social with everyone. Make everyone want to be your friend. If you play it right she’s going to notice and will probably come and talk to you. At that point it’s up to you. I wouldn’t actively go after her, but if she comes to you then the decision is yours.

pru51 · 2017-12-24T17:27:00+00:00

Your acting beta. Stop acting beta.

2017-12-24T17:46:45+00:00

Let it go, there's a reason why it only lasted one month. You don't want to invest emotionally in something that will not lead anywhere. Just go there to have fun & mingle, there are other women on this planet.

l1ght- · 2017-12-24T20:36:14+00:00

It took me around 8 MONTHS of no contact with my ex until she was ready to even talk after my breakup. and that, by the way, is very little time.

For the future, when you go through a breakup - cut contact immediately and hold it.

She's either playing with your emotions, or she just changes her mind - which makes sense cause she's probably as worried about seeing you as you are about seeing her.

Bro honestly, you have to move on - even if just temporarily.

Go to the party feeling like the man of the night. Say hi to the friend of your ex, when you see your ex, say hi and give a friendly hug potentially - then go get a drink and have fun.

Don't keep looking over at your ex (this could be hard) cause it's going to kill you to see her with another guy. Prepare yourself for this.

As cold as it is for me to say, she isn't yours anymore (at least not right now).

Approach other girls, have a fun night, and don't do anything that you either will regret, or is going to further hurt the relationship between you and your ex.

Have a good night, update us on what happens.

DirtyProjector · 2017-12-24T16:55:29+00:00

Can someone please rename seduction to life advice? Because that’s what it is now.

Title	Heading to a party with a good chance my ex that I still have feelings for will be there.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	10
Date	December 24, 2017 11:51 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7luso0/heading_to_a_party_with_a_good_chance_my_ex_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/heading-to-a-party-with-a-good-chance-my-ex-that-i.1438964 https://theredarchive.com/post/1438964

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