Where to start bettering myself? 24 year old male whose never had a meaningful connection

Chichachachi · 2018-01-17T02:43:39+00:00

You really got so much time. I'm jealous. I'm 33 and just discovered this stuff. Do the work now before alcohol destroys you and you'll be amazing by my age.

chipper33 · 2018-01-17T02:47:29+00:00

I feel ya man. Im 24 and never had a meaningful relationship either. I had issues when i was younger as well (15) living in a country town with a majority white population lead to racially motivated bullying. Im part asian. This lead to self esteem issues and even now i still suffer from anxiety meeting new people and women.

What i did and like to suggest too, is re-build yourself. This in turn will lead to a more confident you and you wont have to rely on your body image to sleep with women.

NoloRadio · 2018-01-17T06:52:14+00:00

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RoliPoliOliOli · 2018-01-17T05:26:04+00:00

Been doing this stuff for years. I'd recommend Todd Valentine. He's a pua that has broken things down for a comprehensive approach. Look up his YouTube channel. He also has a free program on his website. Provides challenges for you to ease your way into approaching more.

TacoT · 2018-01-17T07:53:08+00:00

Here's a few ideas that might spark something for you:

Perhaps the greatest influence on your personal development are the people you surround yourself with. Which five people do you spend the most time with? Would you be glad if, one year from now, you were more like them?
If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.
Your drinking habit is probably exacerbating your acne. Try cutting back to a point where you wouldn't describe yourself as a "heavy" drinker.
Think/write about why working out is important to you. You may find that the main reason is to feel acceptance from women/other people. That's OK, everyone wants to connect and feel accepted. But understand that we are accepting of those who accept themselves first, rather than those we whose achievements we find impressive. Self-improvement vs. self-acceptance (both are important)

2018-01-17T07:02:39+00:00

I am also a heavy drinker

Boom there's your problem. I'm a manlet like you without the benefit of muscles or good skin yet I have had girlfriends. I don't drink, smoke, take drugs or even drink caffeine. Having a clear head in life is its own reward.

mudafuq · 2018-01-17T02:40:55+00:00

I would recommend watching some of Jordan B. Peterson’s videos on youtube.

schultlj · 2018-01-17T21:58:37+00:00

If you're looking for a challenge to break you out of a funk, I'd recommend going one month without booze or masturbating. I know it sounds crazy, so hear me out. I have done this before, and I can attest that is shakes things up. You will find a whole new level of focus and more free time.

The purpose is to hit reset on your body in a way. If you're like most people, you've probably never taken an extended break from either vice, so you can't know if those are taking a toll on you. You might find out that your body responds positively.

From a tactical level, here's what you do. If you go out with friends, just offer to DD for the night. If you're not driving, just get water and tell people that you're taking a month off from drinking. When you get the urge to have a yank, go find something else to do. Literally anything that's not on a computer. Go to a restaurant you've never been to before. Do a quick workout. Go to Lowe's and think to something to build. The one thing I noticed when I did it was having deviant thoughts during TVs commercials that didn't even have people in them.

After 30 days, I'll bet you feel a whole new level of energy and focus.

XDarkstarX1138 · 2018-01-17T07:57:22+00:00

I understand, I'd say I'm bit of a late bloomer myself. 25 and haven't had quite a meaningful connection yet except only a few dates that went nowhere. Discovered Seddit about a year and a half ago and wish I did earlier, felt like I missed out the times I could have used these tips during shenanigans in college. Half of my buddies are married now and it seems it's what is happening for most guys my age. Although, I'm speaking with a girl now and hope to turn that into something. Don't give up and keep hustling, learning.

RoliPoliOliOli · 2018-01-20T01:12:28+00:00

Former. Currently has some beef with them I believe but I see actual value in his content compared to those other characters.

JYandeau · 2018-01-17T19:17:01+00:00

This will be a fucking novel so you better be thankful for this:

You should use not having women interested in you to your advantage. Use it as motivation & take the time to better yourself, most people stop trying to improve once they're in a relationship, so lucky for you, you won't have that problem. After improving, your self confidence will naturally go up & you'll feel better talking to women. Read self help books, I suggest starting with "48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene". Once you feel ready, start by complimenting one random girl in public a day. After about a week or two, continue complimenting them, but also have a small conversation WITHOUT getting their number. Remember, you will never see these women again, so no need to be afraid. Once you feel reasonably comfortable having small conversations with random women (you will ALWAYS be a little nervous, that will never go away & is completely normal) then it's time to start getting numbers. Start out with one girl a day. Compliment, converse & try for her number. Make sure you're somewhat demanding, say something like "so how about you put your number in my phone & I'll take you out for dinner sometime?" That sounds much more confident than "can I get your number?". Once you start to get comfortable with that, start asking multiple women a day. Hopefully after a while, you'll get to the point where you actually ask to take her out right then & there, it's less successful but when it does work it is much more rewarding. You can even take her to a restaurant in your mall, or even the damn food court. If you ask 100 women at the mall a day to grab a bite to eat, chances are atleast one of them will be single, hungry & interested. This is the longest comment I've ever made but fuck it, I had nothing better to do & this might change your life. Good luck pal.

Quagmire454 · 2018-01-17T10:50:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Where to start bettering myself? 24 year old male whose never had a meaningful connection
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	37
Comments	23
Date	January 17, 2018 2:31 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7qxsua/where_to_start_bettering_myself_24_year_old_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/where-to-start-bettering-myself-24-year-old-male.1440198 https://theredarchive.com/post/1440198

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