Went to a bar by myself and didn't approach anyone. How did you do your first real approach?

galactic_fury · 2018-05-05T21:31:47+00:00

I felt terrible and defeated but i'm eager to attempt this again next week.

That's the spirit! :) Your first experiences will probably suck. Your first time having sex will most certainly suck. But you keep doing it and eventually you will get it right. And it will get better. To me, what you did was to take your first baby step in the direction to going out more. And think about it: that one hour awkwardly standing around was still better than sitting at home, drowning beers watching trash TV and feeling sorry about yourself. You put yourself OUT there dude! :)

Sit down next time. Get to know the bartenders/service staff. Tip well. If you plan on doing this often, they will be your friends.

Yungclowns · 2018-05-06T00:54:13+00:00

Dude you went out to approach the first time, and that's a win enough. I'm sure part of the anxiety was just general discomfort.

Everyone dreams of being able to go out solo/sober and being able to game like a beast, but it's a rare talent. I would recommend going out with friends and have some drinks for a good time if you are able to. This will make things a lot easier. If you are with a group, you have automatically passed the basic social competency test, you will have more fun, and drinks help loosen things up (it's a medical fact that it reduces anxiety. Be in control of your drinking and accept that you won't start off as a pickup rockstar). Your friends don't have to be into pickup to be supportive of you to talking to girls. If they're good friends you should be able to open up and tell them that one of your goals is to meet girls.

Alex25pf · 2018-05-06T05:39:43+00:00

Try it during the day!

Especially if you're just getting started (and you have all this "technical knowedge" from books in your head that you're trying to remember to follow), somewhere like a bar or club with loud music where girls are all dressed up and in groups can be extremely intimidating.

Try something like going to a park, open popular place in the city, or even a mall during the day. You'll see a lot of more girls that are alone and being in a public open space with daylight will make you feel a lot less worried.

Just keep in mind you'll still feel nervous as fuck the first time you see that perfect opportunity, just ask yourself "what's the absolute WORST thing that could happen? Fuck it!".

Even if you get rejected, you'll feel surprisingly okay about it and every approach after that will be 1% easier, until it's all just coming super naturally.

opi1930ddo · 2018-05-05T20:28:44+00:00

Following

Kenic_In_MD · 2018-05-05T21:22:39+00:00

When you go out solo girls are basically never alone, it does happen but normally they are with others. What I do to get over this is indirectly approach. Meaning make a side comment on what they are doing or what they are wearing. Something like that, and then just start chatting about the topic at hand. and what's so wrong about people seeing you? There is nothing embarrassing about going to the bars

Title	Went to a bar by myself and didn't approach anyone. How did you do your first real approach?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	15
Comments	6
Date	May 5, 2018 7:49 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8h9xbb/went_to_a_bar_by_myself_and_didnt_approach_anyone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/went-to-a-bar-by-myself-and-didnt-approach-anyone.1446079 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446079

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