The Pain Of Rejection Is What's Holding Me Back From Dating Success

hunterpua · 2018-05-21T09:43:44+00:00

Why? You don't know everything else that goes on in a girl's life.

There are many circumstances that lead to someone rejecting another person that have absolutely nothing to do with that other person.

You might really like Snickers but you say no to someone that offers you a bar because you've had a lot of peanuts lately and you're feeling allergies start to brew.

You might be really attracted to blondes but you choose not to approach that stunning blonde that walks by because you have a sprained ankle.

Furthermore, not only don't you know much about her. She also knows very little about you. So there's no way it can be personal when she rejects your approach or even rejects you on a date. It takes months, even years to properly get to know someone.

So if it happens, you're not the one getting rejected. The girl is just rejecting a combination of both the circumstances and the way you went about interacting with her in that particular moment.

LimitedContributor · 2018-05-21T18:58:25+00:00

People say rejection is all in the imagination but for some of us, its extremely complicated.

I only approach girls I really like and when I'm rejected, I imagine the guys who do successfully end up with them while I'm left in the dust.

Robo_dogo · 2018-05-22T04:45:25+00:00

You've been rejected before? Yes? Did your parents still love you afterwards? Are your friends still friends with you? Did your co-workers still want to work with you? Were you still served when going to a restaurant?

Mmmm. Maybe you're overacting to getting rejected.

plowzedong · 2018-05-21T15:45:16+00:00

Wait until you are 45. Maybe by then the pain of regret will be worse than the pain of rejection.

The short answer to you question is, "stop being a pussy."

Feel the fear; do it anyways. Furthermore, instead of obsessing over your own feelings (like women do), use your presence to improve other people's mood....

How to handle the pain of rejection? Realize you're the most important person in your life. One person's fleeting impression of you isn't important.

At the end of the day, the question is about what type of person you want to be: a man-sized pussy whose mood depends on other people's opinions of you; or someone with courage who adds value to an interaction.

africanpyjamas69 · 2018-05-21T09:05:51+00:00

The whole point with getting rejected over and over is coming to the realization that REJECTION IS JUST REJECTION. It is not a reflection of your value. You need to start drawing your value from within yourself. What makes you fucking awesome? Just because some stranger can't instantly see your value, that doesn't mean that you have no value. Find the things that you love about yourself.

oyoungpadawan · 2018-05-21T19:59:58+00:00

Example: 1 out of 20 girls are attracted to you.

You approach one and you are crushed, chances are 95% that she wasn't attracted to you.

Approach more, don't put one on a pedestal.

Now if you talk to 20 girls surely one will be interested.

NodiesopParanoid · 2018-05-21T20:13:01+00:00

I feel like this is one of the hardest parts of all of this. If you're coming from the ground zero, every rejection seems like it's a giant spotlight pointing exactly towards your flaws, failures and regrets, and that shit REALLY hurts.

Unfortunately I can't give you the answers since I'm going through this myself, but, this is one of my rationalization about it, I believe that if you detach more from the girl's opinions, build a strong sense of reality and of who you are as a person, things will get better, they still hurt, but a lot less.

It'll be more like a painting in the wall that you only judge it as good or bad, instead of judging yourself as a person because of it. Wish you all the best.

plowzedong · 2018-05-21T15:47:08+00:00

Besides whining on seddit and occasionally swiping on Tinder, what action are you taking to improve this area of your life?

Title	The Pain Of Rejection Is What's Holding Me Back From Dating Success
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	9
Date	May 21, 2018 5:22 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8kyhd4/the_pain_of_rejection_is_whats_holding_me_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-pain-of-rejection-is-whats-holding-me-back.1446952 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446952

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