25M and I always put myself in friendzone

tallrasputin · 2018-07-13T18:05:54+00:00

I'd consider myself the king of the friendzone, which is what led me here.

From what I've learned so far, I just need to put myself out there more and actually show sexual interest. It's now my belief that if you don't show sexual interest soon enough and then often enough (not non-stop) after that, the girl will start to shift you into the friendzone mentally.

For me, that means trying to force a bit more kino. Another issue I have is maintaining long eye contact. To me, something just feels weird about starring deep into someone's eyes for more than 5 seconds straight and I'm working to get over that since that's a good way to build sexual tension while sitting across the table from someone.

I would say without 'game', which has been me my entire life, making conversation with a girl and hanging out, you need to create some kind of sexual tension within the first 3 hours and then act on it within 5-6 hours of time spent together. If you don't, your window will close quickly. Had it happen recently with a 10 I met at my apartment pool. I wasn't emotionally ready to escalate right away, I missed my chance, and she hooked up with a friend of mine a few weeks later.

hunterpua · 2018-07-13T19:05:58+00:00

Just sounds like you have bad game, which is nothing to be ashamed of. Learn to tease, push-pull, challenge, and break rapport in general. Learn to qualify and sexually escalate too. All you did was talk to her like normal and expect her to jump on your dick just because she was initially attracted to you, it doesn't work that way. You're on a subreddit that talks about how to flirt with girls, its a good place to learn how to do it. Feel free to click on my username and check out my other comments and posts to get some advice on how to properly behave so girls will be attracted to you.

c0smic_sans · 2018-07-13T22:40:22+00:00

After reading your post, here's some brief advice...

If you get her number, the ONLY thing you should use it for is logistics to set up a date. No lie, like 5 messages tops saying hey - ask if she's busy on a certain night - ask her out - tell her what time and where and to meet you there. That bit is important, do not ask her where she wants to go, tell her - you have to be decisive, girls are attracted to that. Thats for a first date of course. But I want to be clear, you should almost NEVER use the number you get to text small talk.

Also, don't say things like "I'm here if you want to talk" - that's pretty much friendzoning yourself. The window of opportunity for attraction on a sexual/romantic level is small and you have to be forward about your intentions.

Idk there's a lot I could say but most every piece of advice I could give is guided by Mark Manson's "Models" - I can not recommend that book enough it will change your life. Read it and internalize what it teaches. Feel free to reply with more questions if you want, I'm no master but I have gotten 500x better than I used to be so I can give some advice.

Sitchnatio · 2018-07-13T17:19:32+00:00

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judahman8 · 2018-07-14T12:18:43+00:00

Don't invite them on a date, it shows too much interest and it's not necessary. Dates are for girls you met online and for girlfriends. Invite yhem to something that isn't relying on them to come. Like a bbq with friends or meeting up at a bar with some some people. Your life is just going and you are asking them to pop in for a sec. I'd invite the girl as Im about to go out. "Hey I'm heading to so and so and my buddy bailed, come keep me company."

I can't understand why guys are still asking girls out on formal one on one dates. Besides that dont text chit chat. Get her number from her. Go on an insta date if you can. Like your shifts over, you are going to go get some food, she should tag along. Or ur gonna go smoke a joint and you invite her along. Casual is key.

LimitedContributor · 2018-07-13T18:58:31+00:00

Damn, dude. You aren't supposed to care if she's cold. That's the point.

I would have ended it with "f you to."

Title	25M and I always put myself in friendzone
Author	Sitchnatio
Upvotes	5
Comments	9
Date	July 13, 2018 5:14 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8yltrr/25m_and_i_always_put_myself_in_friendzone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/25m-and-i-always-put-myself-in-friendzone.1449854 https://theredarchive.com/post/1449854

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