A great method to bring up sex with a woman you’re attracting is to use other people in the venue.

This works well in a bar/club type situation where its loud and it’s normal to be looking around at other people. The opposite of this would be a restaurant situation for example, where looking around at other people would be strange.

Here’s how you do it:

You: “So how good are you at reading body language?”

Her: “I’m ok. Average maybe.”

You: “Well let’s test it out. You see those two couples over there? (you point out two couples sitting somewhere else) Of the two guys, which one do you think is better in bed? And why?”

Now you’ve started a conversation that relates to sex, but because it doesn’t relate directly to her, the pressure of talking about sex is much lower.

Here’s another example:

You: “Do you think you can tell if a women is good in bed just by looking at her?”

Her: “Did you really just ask me that?”

You: “Yep.” (smirk, pause, look at her with confidence, don’t say anything else).

Her: “Yeah, probably.”

You: “Well what do you think about those two over there (you point to women sitting together across the room)? Which one do you think is more aggressive in bed?”

Her: “How about you tell me which one is more aggressive in bed.”

You: “Ok. You see how the one in the black has her hair down, the top two buttons of her blouse undone and has on about 10-too-many bangles. To me that says a woman who lets loose and gets wild. The one in the white has her blouse buttoned to the top. Her hair is scrunched up in a tight bun. She looks a little uptight and conservative. Almost prudish. Definitely not a screamer so to speak.”

Her: “I don’t think so. I bet the one in the white is the wild one. She might look prudish on the outside, but….(and now hopefully she will start opening up and revealing some information related to how she thinks about sexual things).

In this example, she challenged you right at the beginning with the “did you really just ask me that” line.

Women will do stuff like that.

Women want to talk about sex, but society has conditioned them to have sort of a knee-jerk reaction against it (especially at the beginning of getting to know someone).

When she challenges you, the worst thing you can do is to back away: to apologize or start saying stuff like “oh sorry, I’m not trying to be creepy, just curious, that’s all.”

Doing that just reinforces in her mind that there might be some stigma about discussing sex.

Instead, just own it. “Yep.” That’s all you have to say.

She also challenged you again by saying “how about you tell me who is more aggressive in bed.” Basically, she’s saying: “I want to talk about sex, but I want you to talk about sex first.”

Normally when a women challenges you (tests you) I have other recommended responses. However on the topic of sex, if a woman indicates that she wants you to talk about sex first, then just talk about it first.

Women love sex and love to talk about sex. But in our society, men have to initiate (usually).

That means making the first move to physically approach a women. And it can also mean making the first move when it comes to discussing certain topics. Particularly sex.

Sex is a great topic to bring up in conversation. Before you bring it up, you should be seeing signs of attraction from her.

For example, she’s turned toward you. She’s touching you. She’s playing with her hair. She’s laughing at your jokes. All the usual stuff.

Sexual questions can be used as opening lines, but your success rate doing that is likely to be much lower. Better to start conversations the usual way (assumptions, cliffhangers, change the subject, tease (about stuff unrelated to sex), tell her something about yourself, etc).

Then, once the attraction is there, get the discussion of sex started.

Using other people is not the only way to bring up sex, but it’s a great way to ease into it, without immediately making her the subject of the sexual discussion.

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