Anyone else get attached too easily?

ThaGod420 · 2018-09-24T07:11:50+00:00

Only advice I have for you on not getting attached too easily is to keep your options open and not develop oneitis, or a 1 girl mentality. As you said in your post you’ll be going out a lot during the week, which is a great start to keeping your options open and developing an abundance mindset

bringbackthefax · 2018-09-24T09:09:41+00:00

If you like most women you bang then perhaps you are not selective enough about those you get attached to. That to me means you don’t know what you want in a woman, at least not specifically enough. So just frame this meeting a lot of women and finding out what you do or don’t like.

broghettiRolls · 2018-09-24T09:49:07+00:00

Tbh my friend

In my experience if she plays hard to get, that means she ain’t just looking for sex. She actually be looking for someone.

However if she is so easily persuadable, she normally just wanting sex. Simple knowledge yet most guys forget all about it when a girl is getting frisky

9Tskid · 2018-09-24T21:13:02+00:00

I feel like as rude as it sounds, maybe you just didn’t give her what she needed sexually.

As well as the talking on the phone for 2 months thing, maybe she was expecting more. She potentially expected you to talk about your intentions.

Saying that, if she was as good a fuck as you say she was, the chances are you weren’t up to her standard.

Pleasurable sex is majority foreplay and minimal dick game. (In my experience)

Ikuyas · 2018-09-24T21:14:09+00:00

You may consider talking to girls in your every day place like a coffee shop, grocery store, a girl waiting for a traffic signal to turn. Meeting women at club is a story less, not romantic.

Also with mind set, you can talk to many women during the day which reduces the needy feeling. It is surely difficult to close the number and create a rapport but that's what you learn from here or PUA community.

ToryTosh1922 · 2018-09-25T15:53:06+00:00

Sounds like you encountered a black widow

bbhatti12 · 2018-09-24T12:53:15+00:00

2 months is a long time! Especially if you guys have had sex. To a girl (in my experience), when you guys are talking for that long and have or are being intimate, then that is when a girl tends to wonder what this relationship means. Hell, that's when any human being tries to figure out what the relationship means. Figure out what you want right now. That is what it seems like you need to figure out. Are you just looking for sex and FWB right now because you just want to focus on a career, or perhaps you do want a relationship? That is what you need to find out.

K3wp · 2018-09-24T14:28:58+00:00

So, for the past ~25 years, I've been able to get the hot girl in whatever social/professional setting I've been in. Going back to my college days. From a '10' exotic dancer, to a gorgeous indian computer scientist, a 19 year old happa receptionist and a posh British thot. Among many others, to be sure.

And nine times out of ten I fucked it up because I got attached too easily, started getting possessive and making demands, then scared her off. Or it just turned out, as in your case, that she just wanted me for a bit, then didn't want me anymore. And I got butthurt and bitter about it, missing lots of other opportunities in the process. Which I really very much regret.

First off, I wish I had a clear answer for your question. All I can really tell you is that I was like that in my teens-20s and I was not like that from about 35 and up. Some of it simply from lower testosterone I'm sure, but I think it's really a matter of both experience and abundance.

In my 20's, well before the era of Tinder, it was very difficult for me to meet women, even at college. I went to a small school so it was pretty easy to meet everyone there was to meet fairly quickly. Plus, I couldn't drink yet and I've always been too nerdy/hipster for the club scene. So a large part of the problem was that I was developing 'oneitis' simply because there were no other options. I mean, I couldn't even get 'FriendZoned' due to environmental scarcity.

I even vidily remember one girl at my first corporate gig ask me point blank why I didn't have a girlfriend, apparently in disbelief. I literally could not answer her. She then asked me what I did to meet girls and again, no answer. I was broke and renting a room from my family, barely being able to afford gas and car insurance. Meeting girls wasn't even on my radar. I wouldn't know how to do it if I even wanted to; plus 90's New Jersey dating was basically 'Peak Douche'.

Now in my 40's, I work at a Uni. (albeit a STEM one, so the social life is not a selling point) and live by myself in an upscale urban environment. I meet girls on a daily basis, just via day game. I haven't even bothered with Tinder/Bumble yet, plus I'm waiting to drop some more weight before taking new head shots.

Anyways, I guess my question for you is, what are you looking for? If you are getting attached to easily it sounds like you are looking for a LTR, while the body of your post sounds like you are playing the field.

Best advice I can give is to keep moving and always have multiple options open. However, I will have to warn you that there is always the risk of meeting a girl that rocks your world and doesn't want to be tied down. Most of the girls in paragraph one had serious boyfriends that had proposed to them multiple times, while also being cheated on constantly. From my POV, I personally would rather be the side guy than a tool, but that's me.

Something I will say is that I have observed a lot of 'AAA' women will be much more picky about who they sleep with and will not have had a lot of sexual partners. I knew one for about three years and only got with her after she broke off a long engagement. She claimed to have less than five partners when I got with her @ age 29. She married the guy after me and had kids with him.

So, I guess if you can pull it off, try to compartmentalize your LTR desires from your 'having fun' desires. For me personally, Tinder will be for fun, Bumble for LTR, local day game a mixture of both (depending on set/setting). Getting attached to a girl you met at a club is probably a bad idea, but I was once your age so I know how easy that can happen. Plus, its a good thing in general because it means you can be happily monogamous if you find the right girl.

Apologies for the long post, but I was like you once and all I can tell you is that it gets easier with time and abundance. And thanks to Tinder, abundance is easier than ever.

ivobo · 2018-09-24T10:49:45+00:00

yo got a question for the repliers, He says after 2 months talking, Many would consider that that's way too long, so why isn't it here, is it because he is younger that it takes more time?

Title	Anyone else get attached too easily?
Author	UnitedWillow
Upvotes	25
Comments	22
Date	September 24, 2018 5:40 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9iff3l/anyone_else_get_attached_too_easily/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/anyone-else-get-attached-too-easily.1453913 https://theredarchive.com/post/1453913

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