Going out to bars/ concerts solo

VDKay · 2018-10-11T08:28:48+00:00

In order to efficiently go out alone you have to overcome 2 major things: One is the social stigma. People go out and do activities with friends. If you are alone, you will look "off" and seem like a creep unless you have a good excuse or something. The second point is your inner game. Sure, you can convince other people, but can you convince yourself? You will have to rationalize that going out alone is pretty much as normal as going out with friends. The point in both cases is you having a good time. Otherwise, no matter what you say, your true self will always come through sooner or later. Of course, due to the said social stigma, this is a lot harder to achieve, but you will see how easy it is to go out and make a couple of new friends with not much effort at all.

To appear least creepy, I try to make an approach seem casual and normal. I try to give a good excuse as to why I am out alone pretty soon, even if not asked. I usually approach mixed groups, thus, they won't immediately assume I am hitting on anyone, so I won't be ditched out right away. Additionally, I prefer silent groups who appear to not engage too much between themselves. Experience shows that these groups are usually people who are quite bored and would welcome an external stimulus more so than a close-knit group of friends having fun between themselves (This is just my experience, others might disagree. Try both)

- Hey guys, mind if I sit with you for a couple of minutes?

- (Given the time constrain, they'll most likely be fine. Leave your drink on their table)

- Thanks. Hey, I am new in town and I didn't want to stay in tonight. I read about this place and I came to check it out. You come here often? What do you think?

- (They'll say something to answer your question)

They will either give minimal input so as to be polite, or engage in full conversation. It depends mostly on their mood but also your own body language. If they start a conversation with you, asking question about yourself, etc., you reached a good point. Try to gradually go more personal with the conversations. Try to display value, tell a story, tease the girls, call out the boys, make them take tests, etc. Textbook mixed group gaming. If you are reserved and creepy, they'll probably give only few words and mostly ignore you and engage between themselves. You can try again being a bit more friendly and personal.

- OK, I see. By the way, my name is VDKay! Nice to meet you guys! (extend hand for a handshake and ask each person of the group their names). So.. are you colleagues, friends, dating... how do you know each other?

- (They'll talk again)

If they still seem to just talk only minimally so as to not appear impolite, thank them for their company, bid them farewell, and go to another table (ideally out of sight). Otherwise, if they are engaging more now, do as above.

...

If it all goes well, try to pinpoint a good moment to leave. This moment should be before the interaction dies out. They should still be engaged with you, displaying that they are having a good time (ideally, a better time than they would have without you around). This may be as soon as like 20 minutes from approaching. Do not be afraid to leave early. It leaves them wanting more of you.

- Hey, I ended up having a really good time here. You guys are fun. Mostly you with the funny nose (point at the girl I teased before). What was your name again?

- Stephanie (laughs)... and I don't have a funny nose!

- Yeah, whatever you say... OK guys I'd really like to stay but I have to wake up early for some chores. But I had a really good time with you. Who would have thought! Especially with him around (point at the most fun and easy going guy. He will have to laugh)! Anyway! I'd love to hang out with you again. Here, let me give you my number/facebook/whatsup/card. If you don't call I'll know that you have only been pretending to have a good time so as to be polite (laugh).

If it is a mixed group, chances are that only the guys will agree to take your number as girls will generally be more defensive. That is unless you made clear that you are interacting better with one or more of the girls of the group. In that case, I give my number to the person I was interacting the best with (even if she was the GF of a guy. Just make it clear that you are not hitting on her). Whatever the case, that's fine. Worst case, you get new guy friends who are willing to go out with you from now on.

Rinse and repeat. Build a good social group and the skills to effectively meet new people any time you go out alone or with company. Depending on your current social skills, and general appearance, your success rate may vary. I can roughly estimate 1 in 5 groups actually reaching the hook-point and 1 in 10 groups to actually get a girl's number

Tip: A big mistake is to appear threatening. Your best bet is to dress, talk and act just like the people around you. A strong character, an overly-loud or overly-silent voice, extravagant clothes (for the occasion) are all big No-No and will make you appear try-hard at best

bemore_ · 2018-10-10T15:39:21+00:00

The difference between being with friends and being solo is that on your own you're going to be much more proactive, mentally. Does this mean that you will be interacting with everyone ? No. You can set yourself a small goal of introducing yourself to 10 people - whatever level you are on, whatever your next step is - it could be complimenting 3 girls. So start there, start with a small goal for your time out

This whole mindset is more potent because when you think this way in a group, you're the leader - initiating things, you're the alpha - doing what you wanna do

With your buddies, you aren't being proactive. A lot of the time nobody takes responsibility at all. Maybe some guy will fart out something to do, another guy tells you a joke, another is having problems at work, one wants to get drunk .. it can be a mess, so the best focus here is just having fun with them, not meeting women

poopfeast180 · 2018-10-11T02:18:36+00:00

Group or solo is irrelevant once you feel good. But groups and wingmen might make you feel good from the beginning.

The issue with solo is a lot of people never feel comfortable and feel stiff. That's why you gotta boost yourself by just talking to everyone and getting anxiety out of the system.

dailymanup · 2018-10-12T06:36:28+00:00

Here's a great way to meet chicks in a bar fast and not feel awkward being alone.

LingeringGnome · 2018-10-13T23:00:36+00:00

Hit the gym, build muscle. Read more books than you watch TV. Dress decently. Have nice teeth, good hygiene. And when you start going to places alone, people will naturally gravitate towards you. Other guys who are there alone, women who are alone, groups of women, etc.

The bull elk just does his thing, and the spike bucks and harem follow him around.

Title	Going out to bars/ concerts solo
Author	Nitro666999
Upvotes	5
Comments	5
Date	October 10, 2018 5:56 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9mwvbv/going_out_to_bars_concerts_solo/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/going-out-to-bars-concerts-solo.1454795 https://theredarchive.com/post/1454795

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