I’m a freshman, 19, male.

It’s been 4 months since I’ve discovered TRP and yet I struggle to internalize some of its core aspects. Especially when it comes to social game - which is an important aspect for me - there seem to be some contradictory elements in TRP theory.

For example:

Some reads propose to be a charming person which includes to be responsive to other people’s emotions, smiling, giving out compliments et cetera. Other reads suggest not to seek for other’s approval, be stoic, speak less and so on.

From what I’ve understood so far, being charming contradicts to some alpha attitudes that are proposed in TRP theory. Yes, being charming is a manipulative way to reach your own goals. But for me it seems impossible to be charming while emitting dominance, integrity and holding frame.

Do you have to strike a balance between being charming and dominant/stoic or is it up to me which path I take?

This is a really important aspect for me since I’ve built a solid social circle (after ditching a first one) while being more or less stoic. The more comfortable I get in my social circle, the more I tend to slip into old beta behaviour and lose frame every now and then. I have to make my mind whether I’ll proceed on not seeking for other’s approval and maybe risk my social circle or open up a bit and become more charming while risking to lose respect.

What is your take on this and what are your experiences?

Not a native speaker.

edit: spelling