my gf told me she and her best (male) friend had a fwb relationship for couple months before me - how to think/proceed?

vandaalen · 2015-02-04T23:27:43+00:00

Huge red flags.

She was willing to have uncommited sex over a longer period of time with a guy. Sorry to say, but that's the definition of a slut.

On top she is still frequently hanging out with that guy. That is definetly not appropriate behaviour for a girlfriend.

He's at least her backup plan if things don't work out with you in her favour.

Why would you be interested in getting the same as that guy for a higher price - your commitment?

The fact that she told you about it doesn't change nothing at all, but is just to calm her hamster. We didn't even scratch the topic of trickle truth.

At least degrade to plate status, or even next.

soupermain · 2015-02-05T05:02:17+00:00

This is not girlfriend worthy behavior. He was able to fuck her without commitment. This is a shit test on many levels.

The correct answer is to tell her you don't care, downgrade her to plate status, and get more female friends that are sexually interested in you, and don't hide it. No high quality man has to settle down with one woman anymore, not even if you want children. Dread, great sex, and being a high value make are the only ways to enjoy life the way men have evolved to.

The second answer which you'll probably pull because she's your girlfriend and you've developed feelings for each other (completely normal but don't repeat again after this point) is to tell her you don't care, maybe even consciously believe this, but get slightly hurt by it, try to hide it, and look at the relationship in a new light. She'll pick up on this and it's a downward spiral from there.

Third way to respond (completely blue pill) is to tell her you care and that she can't be friends with the guy anymore. This shows that you're scared of the guy because you think he's a higher value male than you.

This is a shit test issued from her to you. If this test shakes your frame she will realize you're not the shit and try to be a monkey bitch and branch swing. Women issue shit tests because that want to fuck a dude that is the shit and will handle shit. They don't want to fuck a dude that's soft as shit. AWALT and you should be the same way. Constantly remind her that you're dating down and you could do better.

feminazis_stalk_me · 2015-02-04T23:30:13+00:00

I'd thank her for telling me the truth and then tell her that I'm no longer comfortable with their post-fuckbuddy friendship, and ask her if she'd be cool with me being best friends with a girl I used to fuck? She'd then start blubbering that he's a big part of her life that helped her through X, Y and Z blah blah blah.

This is when you tell her you "need time to think" about things. Don't give her an ultimatum, and don't make her choose. Just drive her nuts with the dread for a while, until she offers to drop him or demands that she keep both of you - in which case I'd walk away from her or downgrade her to a plate - I wouldn't want a hand that close to my cookie jar if she was an LTR.

Archwinger · 2015-02-05T02:48:54+00:00

She told you that she's a slut. What do valuable men with options do with sluts?

Or are you afraid you'll never find another woman?

ionlyuseredditatwork · 2015-02-04T23:23:47+00:00

She used to bang this guy, and is now "best friends" with him. Let me guess, she broke it off with him? Sounds to me like she's keeping at least one orbiter around. And you're 5 months in? Be wary of that sort of trickle truth.

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with an LTR keeping orbiters that they've hooked up with around. Pretty solid sign she's still on the CC and she's not yours, it's just your turn. Proceed with caution, brother.

[deleted] · 2015-02-05T07:42:51+00:00

Having been the other guy in that situation, she's not relationship material.

soskrood · 2015-02-05T13:56:09+00:00

Here is how I would approach. Ask her to give up this best friend for you. Zero contact. If she is, then maybe ltr material. She probably isn't though, so downgrade or next.

If you already know the answer, act accordingly.

[deleted] · 2015-02-05T01:14:08+00:00

Depends if they are just simply on good terms or hanging out with each other

paigeuncool · 2015-02-05T00:12:12+00:00

If she's STILL friends with him I would have a problem.

oldredder · 2015-02-05T04:23:51+00:00

Don't let it affect anything. It's just information for you and there's nothing to do with it yet, maybe ever.

Me and a few of my buddies share past girls in common we fucked and we all know about it. We don't care.

TheReason13 · 2015-02-05T01:24:41+00:00

Fuck her good, then drop her. He's a back up plan.

oldbluebox · 2015-02-05T02:25:52+00:00

nexttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Goldfulgore · 2015-02-05T15:47:12+00:00

she doesn't want to be like that ever again

She rode the CC hard

TitsAndWhiskey · 2015-02-06T05:13:16+00:00

I wouldn't even downgrade her if she's legitimately a girlfriend (i.e. you've caught feelings).

Just be done.

[deleted] · 2015-02-07T01:36:50+00:00

hard next

C00l_Guy · 2015-02-05T01:00:59+00:00

DROPPED and nexted.

trpthrowy · 2015-02-04T23:33:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	my gf told me she and her best (male) friend had a fwb relationship for couple months before me - how to think/proceed?
Author	trpthrowy
Upvotes	19
Comments	42
Date	February 4, 2015 11:00 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2ut3bw/my_gf_told_me_she_and_her_best_male_friend_had_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/my-gf-told-me-she-and-her-best-male-friend-had-a.145909 https://theredarchive.com/post/145909

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