So its been a year since I decided to try and undertake my own Seddit adventure. Thought I'd set out the pros and cons of the past year and why I'm optimistic for 2019.

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If you're wondering why I'm documenting this - for reasons I'll come onto, I've come to realise its quite useful.

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Depression - I had some serious lows for a large part of 2018. I was finally diagnosed with depression and there were long periods where everything else had to take a back seat while I dealt with it. Ultimately though, I can spin this into a positive - I'm now on meds that help and I had a lot of therapy. The latter has given me a great insight into why I do the things I do, why I want the things I want and - most crucially - has allowed me to identify the extreme limiting beliefs I have (I'm working on them!). Oh yeah, and it was dealing with my depression that taught me the value of regularly documenting progress.

Travelling - Got my wanderlust - been to Ireland, Albania, New York and Chicago last year - planning to go to Azerbaijan this year (don't ask). It gives me tons of cool stories and stuff to talk about.

Fitness - It trailed off in the later half of the year due to the depression but at one time I was in the best shape of my life, with friends and girls telling me how good I looked. I look forward to getting back into that kind of shape and beyond.

Career - I'm now a qualified lawyer at a new firm. I love the work and I'm damn well paid for it!

Seeing what's possible - from my annoyingly limited efforts (I'm annoyed I didn't put in as much work as I'd have liked but then I have had other stuff going on), looking back I accomplished the following:

a) 2 same night lays - one from a wild younger redhead I met at a house party (but I screwed it up months later by arguing with her at another house party) and another one from a last minute date.

b) I've kissed more girls this year than I have in the previous 5.......

c) On a night out in March, I approached one of my friend's girlfriend's friends, led her to the dancefloor, danced with her and made out with her - all without saying a word. Not only is it the peak of my game so far but even now the girl in question is kind of stalking me, tells people I'm a great kisser and her friend is trying to set me up with her.

d) Established that I could get numbers and even an insta-date.

The above probably seems like a pathetic offering compared to some exploits on this sub but, honestly, it represents real progress for me. I can only imagine what I would have got done if I'd just put more regular work in.

Revelations - stuff that I've realised:

a) My looks aren't everything - I have a cleft lip (repaired) and my left ear is slightly deformed and yet, when I'm in the right mindset, this is irrelevant. No-one notices, no-one cares. One of my lays told me she liked the way my cleft lip made me a better kisser (not sure how that works) and the other told me she had seen photos of me before and thought I was cute and had nice eyes. These are real breakthroughs for a guy who always thought he was too hideous to get girls.

b) Rejection does not hurt - I've had my share of "no"s this year. You quickly realise that it is completely meaningless.

c) I'm ageing like a good whiskey - I'm 28 now and I swear I've never had such interest. Unlike a lot of my friends, my hair isn't going anywhere, my skin is good and I try and keep in fairly good shape. Just the other day some people were shocked to hear I was 28, apparently I don't look it (in a good way!).

d) Younger girls don't really care that I'm older - One of my lays legit thought I was 29 rather than 27 as I was at the time. She mentioned it as if it was absolutely nothing and it gave her no pause whatsoever. She was 21. Most of the girls that have shown interest this year have been a few years younger than me. This is reassuring as I have real anxiety about turning 30, having missed out on girls in their 20s for most of my 20s!

Reasons for Optimism

a) I have found some wings in my home city - this will be helpful as I need a push to actually get out and practice sometimes.

b) My career is finally where I want it to be and I have more disposable cash than before.

c) My mental state is finally getting there.

d) Having recovered from a bad case of oneitis tied to my depression - I'm looking forward to getting back to it.

Action Points

Over the next year I need to:

a) Get back into a great gym routine and really up my nutrition.

b) Commit to going out as often as possible (with or without wings) to work on my game.

d) Look into the ways of taking care of myself to make sure I look my best heading into my dreaded 30s.

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If anyone can recommend a good way of forcing yourself out of the house to practice then it would be much appreciated. Also if anyone has some reassuring words about game in your 30s - that would be awesome :)

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ONWARDS AND UPWARDS

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