Hey guys/girls. This is a throwaway account. Looking for advice, insights and for your stories; I find stories help me make better choices because it gets into what will happen, etc.

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I'm a moderately successful former PUA with around 70-100 lays. 35 years old, male, in North America. Have always been in very casual flings/short term "relationships". I got into my first serious relationship about 1.5 years ago and stopped chasing women. At first it was a casual relationship more due to convenience (I was switching my focus to running a business, didn't want to go out much anymore). At her request, the relationship became monogamous. She's a nice girl but has her faults. Half the time I'm enamored by her, and half the time I'm annoyed to death. We gradually became a couple, with Valentine's day outings, birthday gifts, etc.

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As time went on, I found myself more and more comfortable with her (e.g. feeling at home with her) but less attracted to her, not because she isn't attractive, but mostly due to desiring something new. She hasn't changed much. But I figure, that's no necessarily a problem with her, but maybe it'll always be a problem with me.

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We're in a good spot now, and she loves me. I feel like I love her too, but have been holding back due to a) wanting to be single again at some point, going back out to game. b) she's not perfect and has some fundamental red flags/flaws.

However, she's very willing to work on her flaws. I also feel like if I get myself to commit to her fully, then I can get through my flaws and our problems A-OK. Can make it work. But there'll always be a part of me that wants to get back out there.

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So the question is...

  1. if you've been in this spot, how have you handled it, why, and what happened (the good and bad)?
  2. in the greater scheme of things, how do you deal with this in general? E.g. having a girl become really invested into you and dealing with both your emotions (of loving the chase) and hers (e.g. trying not to break her heart)?