Help advice needed

hunterpua · 2019-01-31T15:28:34+00:00

This is pretty simple, you just need some work on how you're making physical contact.

The biggest cause of your problem is that you start with zero physical contact and then somewhere in the middle of your interaction with the girl you try to jump from zero to 80 right away.

Of course this will feel weird.

You don't have emotional or confidence issues, how you feel about getting physical the way you're doing it right now is how you're supposed to feel as an emotionally healthy human being.

So really, all you need to do is change how you get physical.

If you only start thinking about initiating physical contact when you're on a date then its already way too late.

You should initiate physical contact more or less as soon as you initiate verbal contact.

In simple terms, you should be touching her as soon as you're talking to her.

Instead of staying at zero the first time you meet, the conversation, maybe getting the number and the early stages of a date, start with zero but as soon as you're talking to her gradually ramp it up. Go to 10, 20, 30, 40, and so on so that by the time you get to 80 (the kiss) it won't feel like you're jumping across two buildings, it'll feel like you're just taking a comfortable step across.

One of the first things you can do as soon as the interaction starts is shake hands.

It also helps to make it a habit to have your arms bent at the elbow so that you hold your hands in front of you every time you have a conversation with someone.

It doesn't matter if you're talking to family, friends, colleagues, or pretty girls, just always have your arms bent at the elbow when you talk.

You can just hold your hands together in front of you or hold them in a steeple.

What happens when you do this is that it encourages gesturing.

And when you're gesturing, when you have your hands moving around as you talk to a girl, its very natural to touch her from time to time.

These are what we call non-sexual or ambiguous touches.

If you're confused when the right time to touch is then just think of a question mark and an exclamation point.

If someone were to transcribe the conversation you have then whenever there is a question mark or an exclamation point in your conversation, that's when its time to touch.

So if you say, "That's an interesting accent, where is it from?"

You can place your fingers gently on the outside of her arm while giving her an inquisitive look and then release as soon as you finish asking the question.

Or if you say, "Wow! That's awesome!" then you can hold on to her more firmly on the outside of the forearms or the upper arms if she's already comfortable with you and shake her slightly.

The shaking should come naturally with the excitement you're having because when you say, "Wow! That's awesome!" you should only say that when you're genuinely excited.

Also notice how I say the outside of her arm or the outside of her forearm?

When initially touching someone, they are generally more comfortable being touched on the outer areas.

When someone lets you touch the inner areas, that's when they trust you and if its a girl, that is a good sign she is attracted to you.

Those areas are where the important blood vessels are located which is why people don't feel comfortable being touched by just anyone there.

Those areas are also the erogenous zones, i.e. the zones to touch to turn a girl on so if she allows you to touch the inside of her wrist or even palm to palm, she already has a good degree of attraction for you.

Once you can develop the general touching use that to make both of you more comfortable.

Yes, doing that makes her more comfortable but you actually also need smooth escalation so that you will be comfortable too.

Remember, she is also a stranger.

Its normal to feel uncomfortable touching a stranger no matter how hot she is.

She also needs to gain your trust.

She also needs to make you feel comfortable.

Its a human interaction, its not one sided, you go back & forth.

When you're comfortable with her then it will be much easier to get things sexual when its time to do so.

...

This part is for everyone reading this comment

A lot of you have sent me direct messages asking for my advice because you read a comment I made on this sub, just like this one, and found it to be very helpful/insightful/meaningful and I'm happy to say I've been able to help you guys so much more because of that.

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-CheezyGorditaCrunch · 2019-01-31T15:13:12+00:00

You have to be good at verbal cues to catch on of when it’s appropriate and welcomed

UrbanDevice · 2019-01-31T20:18:39+00:00

I will shatter your world now. Ready? Girls like to be touched! Wooooow i know. Crazy right? But its true. Get some positive reference experiences. That will help. I would suggest dancing. Its the best way to start showing your mind 1. its not an impossible task 2. girls like to be touched (the right way ofc) 3. Its so much fun and nothing to be scared of. Go to clubs and start moving your body near some chicks or take dancing lessons. It helps trust me. have fun and good luck bruh

xxsimplyjosh · 2019-02-01T00:37:26+00:00

men who take risks are seen as desirable because hes confident and not afraid to put himself out in the danger xone

if u play it safe and are so worried about the touch then no women is gonna like you because you are hiding your true intentions. and this insecurity is what drives them away.

a simple task is touch her arm on the outer area while conversating like when you launch a statement on a positive high note (eg she said she knew i was into photography and she was also into that kind of hobby too) i would just launch for the touch while expressing my happinessn to know we have similar interests... & saying we would get along very well with a wink

if she in anyway wasnt into my touch like pulling her arm away, brush it off , offer statement of empathy and continue on a different topic to keep convo flowing

myhoeacademia · 2019-02-01T08:50:12+00:00

You seem to have a problem with initiating physical contact or another way of looking at it: escalating. You may be missing or simply not being able to understand her cues. It’s a skill you can learn & I can help you go even beyond that

WeonaQueBrutal · 2019-01-31T15:08:03+00:00

Next time just go for it, at least you won’t be thinking what you didn’t.

Title	Help advice needed
Author	ThingsTakeTime21
Upvotes	15
Comments	8
Date	January 31, 2019 2:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/alq89s/help_advice_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-advice-needed.1461505 https://theredarchive.com/post/1461505

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