TL;DR – How do you tap into a woman’s emotion without falling into the affection trap (i.e. the friendzone)?

I’m relatively new to Seddit and am still digesting a lot of the concepts.  I’m really good at making friends with women and often find myself in the friendzone or beta orbiter status.  Also, I’m 45 years old, married, and typically interact with other married women. Nevertheless, I’m trying to understand intersexual dynamics better and to learn the ways of game and seduction.  My question is about understanding and tapping into a woman’s emotions and doing it in a way that doesn’t put you in the affection trap. I’m distinguishing between affection and attraction here in that affection leads to friendship while attraction leads to sexual tension and possibilities. I know the friendship route well; the other one is what I'm trying to learn.

My question stems from an incident with a coworker, I’ll call her Mia.  I’m not looking to have sex with Mia. I admit being attracted to her, but when we first started working together I didn’t know anything about seduction and was subsequently friendzoned.  So that ship has sailed.

Mia and I co-lead a successful project, but I am moving to a different division in a few months and our collaboration is either going to cease or need to be changed significantly.  I'm leaving my current position behind for the possibility of better career opportunities.

Anyhow, Mia was in my office the other day for a conference call.  After the call she started attacking me, my work, the direction of my career, etc.  I understand enough to know that she was lashing out emotionally. So I listened to her insult me for a few minutes and then said “You’re really worried about this project, aren’t you?”. This was my attempt at empathic language and connecting to her emotions rather than my ego.  She burst into tears and then started telling me how much I mean to her, etc. We talked for a few more minutes and then she left my office, still in tears, saying that she would be better the next day.

I think I did well to understand that she was acting from a place of emotions and to not take the bait on her insults.  But my response, while it generated affection, probably did not generate attraction. I’m okay with the outcome, but how would you handle a situation like this if you were trying to generate attraction?  What would your response be? Is there an attractive way to respond to an emotional attack?