Most common advice naturally attractive people give to others - "just be yourself". But what exactly does it means? It means what most people, most guys, stop "being themselves" when they pursue a woman they like. And it is true.

How exactly we stop being our true self? It is simple and basically there are two things all of us do:

1. Restrict ourselves to avoid being disliked. Avoid negative reactions. This is what creates so called approach anxiety and why it is hard to approach a woman. This is why it is hard for guys to escalate. We avoid undesired reactions by restricting ourselves, by not doing something we naturally want.

2. Change our natural behaviour to be liked by others, to get certain reactions from them. Sad truth is what pickup and seduction is mostly about doing exactly this. We learn what type of actions are attractive to women and then we change ourselves and act according to it.

Almost all questions on askseddit related to one of those categories. "I'm too afraid to do something what could make her dislike me" and "What exactly I should do to get from her reaction I want?".

The truth is you can't be your true self when your priority is to get a girl. To really be yourself you should change your priorities on fundamental level. Do what you want, what you think is right, what you feel like to do - even if people can dislike you for this. Be polarizing. Stop chasing success with women. Stop trying to attract them to you.

I approach a girl because I want to approach her, not because I need certain reaction from her, I do what I want to do and I'm completely fine either she likes it or hates it. When I want to tease her - I tease her, even if she could dislike it or find it offensive. I am me, either other people like it or not.

Ask yourself - "what other people think about me is more important than what I think about myself?". What is more important to you? Make this decision.

Paradox of being naturally attractive is what you should stop trying to be attractive. This is why pickup, specially highly technical outer game pickup, is so hard thing to learn. Faking attractive behaviour patterns isn't easy at all, it needs a lot of theoretical knowledge and a lot of practice. But there is nothing easier than just being naturally attractive. Because you stop caring about success rates, stop caring about "rejection" (this word no longer exist in your vocabulary), you no longer need any lengthy theories to just do what you want.

For better or worse, but most guys who read it could never reach this shift. Because it is likely what they are in "results oriented" mod. First thing they will think after reading this - "does it work for getting girls?". And it doesn't matter if you think what it works or not, because you've already lost by having this type of question. It isn't easy to completely change your fundamental priorities and just by reading my post it is unlikely what you would be like "oh, I see - I will be myself even if it could put off some people, I don't need to do something special to attract others and can just be myself". Very likely you can't make decision to be like this for the rest of your life just by reading my post. So here is solution for you:

Make this a challenge. For one month stop pursuing women and start pursuing natural expression of yourself. You win by doing what you truly want and not altering your actions or words to be liked by women. You did what you wanted and she disliked it? Congratulations, you won. She liked it? Doesn't matter, you won because you did what you wanted. Forget about being liked, forget about getting laid, forget about "getting results" - being yourself is your result in itself. Expect nothing out of it, just do. Believe me - if you really could complete this challenge then you wouldn't even want to return to your past self.

tl;dr Just. Be. Yourself. Change your priorities, stop self-restricting to avoid being disliked and stop altering your personality to be liked.