how can i stop my mind going blank while talking to a girl?

hunterpua · 2019-05-20T21:15:06+00:00

Focus on them.

The reason you're going blank is because you're way too self-conscious.

You're too caught up in doing well with the girls and that's why you go blank.

You see when you're so focused on performing then you stop paying attention to things going on around you and when you do that you stop noticing opportunities to joke or even just talk about.

But when your focus is all on her then its very easy to be your fun, confident self.

One because you will notice everything that happens and you'll be able to respond well.

But also because its very hard to be self-conscious when you are "other-conscious".

If your focus is all on another person then its very hard to focus on yourself.

By the way, one side effect of being really focused on the other person is putting the pressure to perform on them.

So if you run out of things to say just look at them in silence and wait for them to pick the conversation up.

I do this to start dates even if I know exactly what to talk about just to get the girl contributing more to the interaction.

I literally just sit across them, hold eye contact and give them an easy smile in silence, fully expecting them to start.

You should try it. Its so cute to see a woman struggling to come up with something.

...

This part is for everyone reading this comment

A lot of you have sent me direct messages asking for my advice because you read a comment I made on this sub, just like this one, and found it to be very helpful/insightful/meaningful and I'm happy to say I've been able to help you guys so much more because of that.

Here's the problem: More and more messages are coming in and I really want to help but its getting hard to keep up.

So I've put together a Telegram group for you guys that want to improve your dating lives and want to actually understand the psychology behind our interactions with not only women but with ourselves and people in general.

If you want to be part of a group that believes in finesse over brute force, technique over strength, smart work over hard work, Seduction over pursuit then send me a direct message with your Telegram username.

If you are serious about getting better with women then I'll be happy to welcome you in.

PeithoPan · 2019-05-20T21:22:52+00:00

You want to achieve what they call outcome independence.

When you are talking to the guys you are not expecting any results. Just hanging out and saying whatever comes to your mind.

When you talk to a girl you like you want her to like you. You want to impress her and so on. So you start analyzing the situation, and what she says and what you say constantly. This stresses you and it hinders the creative side of the brain to work as it does when you are relaxed.

It's sort of like job interviews if you have ever been to one of those. Nightmare for people that haven't done it before, and excellent fun for people that know what to say and do in them.

You basically just have to hang out with girls more. And practice talking to them. Many ways of doing it.
You could approach random girls and ask them simple questions, before ejecting :"know where the museum of arts is? k, thanks" etc. When you are comfortable doing that, you can advance the discussion further by complimenting them before ejecting, and so on. In the end you will be very comfortable talking and getting numbers.

If you are lucky, you have a group of girls that you can hang out with, that you dont try to bang. It should be easier to talk to these girls, when you are not wanting anything from them, just hang out.
The point is here not to try to get with any of them, but hang out with them enough to be used to hanging with girls. And you will understand its not the fact its girls you have a problem, but because your brain is stressed because you are trying to perform some task it doesnt know how to do -> get a girl into bed. You can use this group as a platform to meet new girls to bang. If you go to a club with a group of girls, your social value is through the roof ,and approaching other girls will be muuuuch easier. Also, they will wing like champs for you too.

banquos_horse · 2019-05-21T12:24:37+00:00

Let it go blank, remain comfortable, laugh about it. Say the first thing that comes into your head and don't treat it like an exam where you need to give the right answers in each situation. Don't be afraid to say something stupid that annoys her, poke fun at her for it if it annoys her. Don't be afraid to sit in silence for a minute or two.

ljstaycold · 2019-05-21T20:40:20+00:00

I swear it’s like everyone here is the same, like are you my long lost twin brother

lesntoomy · 2019-05-20T22:21:11+00:00

Have structure to your game. Memorize a couple of flirty stories to tell. Use the same lines for every girl you talk to but switch them around a bit to fit each person. Do you watch any pua channels on youtube to help your game?

TotesMessenger · 2019-05-21T00:04:36+00:00

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dailymanup · 2019-05-21T05:33:06+00:00

Check out this post called "mind going blank when talking to girls"

Title	how can i stop my mind going blank while talking to a girl?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	19
Comments	9
Date	May 20, 2019 8:40 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/br10no/how_can_i_stop_my_mind_going_blank_while_talking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-stop-my-mind-going-blank-while-talking.1469320 https://theredarchive.com/post/1469320

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