How to open/hook without showing interest?

WIA20XX · 2019-06-14T17:21:03+00:00

TL DR - you have something to say that you care more about than any girl that you're trying to attract. You don't care if she thinks that you're hitting on her, she can think whatever the fuck she wants.

Seems most guys get success by stating interest off the bat “I thought you were cute and wanted to talk to you”.

That is what everyone sells. That's not how most guys are successful.

It's good for newbs because it tells the girl why you are interrupting her. The girl already knows why she is being interrupted. Being direct is good for the GUY.

Society has ALWAYS made regular guys feel ashamed and afraid to express their sexual sides. Works on most guys. The guys that it doesn't work on are naturals.

Saying that you think the chick is attractive out loud is not for her sake, but for his.

These days most newbs just can't have casual conversations with strangers. Everyone is an introvert that hates small talk. When it comes time to cold approaching girls, they have very few reference experiences for even approaching people.

Throw girls into the mix - Approach anxiety, can't flirt, can't lead, can't touch and their body language broadcasts that their nervous.

Why direct?

Direct game is expressing sexual interest - the girl goes on autopilot, looks at you, and feels one way or another. She is making an emotional decision about you after being ambushed by you.

There are some girls that will either like what they see, and some girls that admire bravery. But overall, compared to other methods, it is very inefficient.

Before internet style pickup was a thing, direct game was what everyone does. Make an appearance compliment and then hope she likes you based on that split second interaction.

How effective has direct game been?

You can look through your own life, family, and friends, and see that most of them didn't meet through direct game cold approach. It is social circle, class mates, school mates, neighbors, co-workers, church, friends of family, and friends of friends. Even if the girl isn't already a friend, either she's seen him around or the guy has been vouched for. Though they have never talked, it's not a true cold approach.

By contrast, The gurus are telling you to go out and stop a girl during her day to give her a compliment and then get her phone number/Instagram.

So even though the compliment a stranger's attractiveness is the oldest method in the book, it is the least effective compared to social circle.

It happens, just not as frequently as meeting someone within a few degrees of separation.

So why direct at all?

Going in direct all the time, can make the guy better. He becomes more comfortable with being sexy. Eventually the guy doesn't need to say the obvious, he has accepted himself. He can step up with sexual intent that's all nonverbal.

No guru makes a direct verbal visual comment the mainstay of his game. When these guys approach, there isn't much doubt as to why.

Why would anyone approach if disinterested? Seems paradoxical.

This is classic indirect. Even in the classic books on the subject, it's not explained well.

When a singer gets on stage - obviously they're seeking ATTENTION. By singing, he gets their attention.

What attracts people, what makes them listen, sway from side to side, dance, sing along, is the music.

They love this external thing, they love how it makes them feel, they want more and they come to love the creator.

They didn't love the guy because he stepped on stage. A lot of them probably rolled their eyes. But then he starts to play, and then sing. And he makes them have a good time. There is no direct love here.

They are indirectly attracted to the singer, the magician, the comedian, the professor, the artist.

Metaphorically, when the pickup ARTIST steps up to group of people, he is seeking their attention. But then he creates this thing within his audience, a joke, a conversation, a story, and they all want to be into it, to feel this thing being created from nothing, being created by this random stranger.

A girl can be totally into the thing/story/joke, but not attracted to the player. The PUA has to take steps so that she expresses her interest in him. It is only when she repeatedly puts herself out there, tries to get his attention, tries to get his approval, that he even notices her.

This is much harder than saying you think the girl is cute. That is why most people don't teach it anymore.

warm_theory · 2019-06-14T16:11:14+00:00

What's wrong with showing interest? You have to do it, othertwise things will just become platonic and your chances of getting something out of it (besides a long boring conversation) are gone. You should be showing intent, even if you go indirect while opening at some point you have to do it and shouldn't be waiting much to.

Women are really intuitive beings, if you're coming in with a lot of random indirect shit just to get them to talk and after a long while start showing intent they can really get creeped out - "this manipulative mf had a plan all along to play me into having sex with him". No way that's going to work, specially with high-quality women.

Title	How to open/hook without showing interest?
Author	leokinde
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	June 14, 2019 4:03 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/c0ltrb/how_to_openhook_without_showing_interest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-openhook-without-showing-interest.1471370 https://theredarchive.com/post/1471370

Comments