We made out at the end of the first date...

Redgiant54 · 2019-06-27T07:42:55+00:00

I’d feel like a backup plan for her... You might change her perception by: 1. Ghosting her 2. Being friendly, like real friendly. No kissing, no touching, just fun stuff that shows how charismatic and sincere you are. If she still want to be friends only, hit on other girls while going out with her. Or better: make her your wing woman. Have fun

rushdbeisisjeiwksj · 2019-06-27T03:58:16+00:00

You’ve done all you can. Ball’s in her court

cpcallen · 2019-06-27T08:46:08+00:00

If she were actually interested in you she wouldn't be trying to keep you merely friends.

This relationship is done. She wasn't attracted enough - a fact which was obvious before the second date, which you could have cancelled.

Some people advise NOT kissing on the first date unless you're certain that she's going to have sex with you that night, because (they claim) doing so reduces the likelihood that she'll ever have sex with you. My personal experience on this is mixed, but your story is certainly evidence in favour of this theory.

Also: you should not have apologised for doing something that she obviously enjoyed.

But hey: you had a fun time out, so at least it wasn't a total waste.

Redgiant54 · 2019-06-27T08:50:28+00:00

"She doesnt want to physical" = "im thinking about being physical but i dont want to be a slut so im going to put al the responsebility on you." Ignore what she tells you about being friends. Shes interested as she said. Only thing missing in your interactions is you not leading it anywhere. Woman dont know what the hell they want untill you give it to them. Take what she says with a grain of salt and watch what she does.

2019-06-27T08:02:13+00:00

flirt with other girls in front of her. treat her like a buddy.

getyourlifeplease · 2019-06-27T09:21:59+00:00

She was clear - she just wants to be friends. Thats WHY she basically backed off of getting physical. So you need to HEAR what she said, and move on with someone else. This girl doesnt seem into you the same way you are her...

GuerrillerodeFark · 2019-06-27T04:33:48+00:00

Ghost her

PriorSandwich · 2019-06-27T08:37:24+00:00

I haven't been on this sub very long, but it seems as if basic principles of game are neither practiced, nor encouraged. I haven't even begun to really practice it myself, but even I know you shouldn't have apologized for making out with her. You are a man who was sexually attracted to a woman you went on a date on and she reciprocated. They expect you to make moves and if they don't, well they think you're a pussy. And the just be friends excuse is a reason to stop contact altogether. Set boundaries and maintain them. "Let's just be friends for awhile". "Sorry, I have enough of those, it was nice seeing you". And done. If she is that attracted to you, she will chase you because that will have made her even more attracted.

SpinPlates · 2019-06-27T11:05:00+00:00

She kissed me back. I think she appreciated it.

After we made out, she rushed into me, gave me a tight hug, and a big kiss on the cheek.

On the second date, and right before we met, she said that she doesn’t want to be “physical,” and to take it slow.

She met a different guy that gave her better tingles. Probably fucked him on the first date.

So on your 2nd date she feels like a hoe and wants to slow it down. She is weighing her options between you and another man and seeing who will be a better LTR. She's probably fucking him and holding on to you in case he ghosts her.

Only logical thing to do here is next her. There is no excuse for back peddling intimacy. She is either fucking someone else and feels self conscious about it or is too immature to handle the intimacy with you, either way I'd ghost her.

xtracsss · 2019-06-27T08:56:05+00:00

Treat her like a friend. Make her jealous lol

2019-06-27T08:06:23+00:00

She’s playing with you, every time I saw this kind of story it ended up badly. I feel like she just needs validation whenever she wants. Even when a girl I already kissed say to me « no kissing today » (which should never happen honestly), I would try to kiss her again because it may be a shit test.

See her again one time, cook her the dinner. See how it goes. If she still play the « I wanna be friends » game, just go next. You don’t have time to waste.

2019-06-27T18:10:18+00:00

To add to what others have said, the biggest problem I see here is with your analytical skills. Your assessment that you had two fun fun dates is false. If you did, by definition, she wouldn't be saying what she's saying. What's more, apologizing for a rather tame and mundane move on date 1 (believe it not, women will do all kinds of things on a first date... and in a short amount of time too), also makes the dates not good. Not to be harsh, but never do that again. In that moment, you proved that you're a guy who just doesn't get it. Women want men who just get it. I've been there. I remember in college when I was in this girl's room studying and she went to take off her shirt. I averted my eyes and she laughed. I just didn't get it (then) and by the end of the uneventful study date she was no longer attracted. Finally, in the next few weeks, I'm guessing you'll desperately try to "fix" things and get "closure." Don't. Just move on, fail some more with other ladies, write field reports and learn from this community, until you eventually start succeeding.

sjswander94 · 2019-06-28T19:13:10+00:00

Maybe it was her anti slut defense. If a girl doesn’t want to fuck you she won’t mention it or even go out with you for that matter. If she said I don’t want to get physical. In womanese that can be translated to I don’t want to be physical and feel like a slut after. If a girl says “we’re not having sex tonight” odds are she wants to have sex tonight it’s your job to “ make it happen without forcing it or making her feel like a slut.

Don’t apologize for being a man and acting on your sexual desires (obviously you should be calibrated to what’s going on). If she reciprocated there’s nothing to apologize about.

“ I want to be friends for now” if she said this via text I wouldn’t respond. If your out with her and try to escalate and she says that I would say” I have enough friends”

knightydk · 2019-06-27T04:03:01+00:00

Imo you should go ahead and escalate

MrDeez444 · 2019-06-27T05:34:22+00:00

Hang out with her. Not as a date. Be friendly. Just have a fun time while expecting nothing.

Although flirt with her a little bit. See if she flirts back. If she doesn't flirt back then you're just going to be friends and nothing more. If she does flirt back then continue flirting and kiss her.

Do not kiss her if she's not being flirtatious with you.

AyeLoveSuzy · 2019-06-27T13:08:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	We made out at the end of the first date...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	23
Date	June 27, 2019 3:52 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/c60nhw/we_made_out_at_the_end_of_the_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/we-made-out-at-the-end-of-the-first-date.1472335 https://theredarchive.com/post/1472335

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