How do you stop feeling below someone?

MyOtherAccount2 · 2015-03-25T22:59:10+00:00

You can handle this a few ways. Use him as inspiration to improve yourself, or get to the point where you don't care where other people are at since your live is already awesome.

In both directions it comes down to self improvement, and in both instances you should be improving for yourself and not because of how you compare to others.

mtjay · 2015-03-25T23:44:42+00:00

Nobody is God. Everybody has unique strengths and weaknesses that nobody else has in the exact same way. Just as a silly example, I'm fairly short, and many guys may be taller than me, but are they as good at chess as I am? Do they read as many books as I do? Do they have their financial shit figured out, or are they struggling?

Just remember that it's never black and white. Nobody is just 100% better than you at everything in every way. I guarantee it. Instead of only looking for where people are better than you, also consider the areas where you are better than others. Instead of idolizing others, realize that they might have struggles you haven't considered. Everybody is human. Everybody deals with insecurity and failure. Everybody's poop stanks.

And the next thing to do is to improve your life more. You clearly think your life has much room for improvement, since you're focusing so much on how someone else has a better life than you. So take that as a sign that what you really desire is to focus more on improving yourself.

AZTRP · 2015-03-26T00:04:56+00:00

Stop fucking the same girls. What kind of coattail riding bullshit is that? It sounds like you're picking up scraps. Go live your own life. As long as your standing around picking crumbs out of his shadow you'll never stand tall enough.

penguin_says_slide · 2015-03-25T23:27:37+00:00

I had a similar situation. It wasn't that bad! I mean I did have some envy, but it didn't keep me awake at night or anything like that, more like a nagging thing.

Solution One
Realize you're being a butt hurt little bitch. Stop comparing yourself to him and if that ever happens you ought to use that as inspiration to push harder yourself.

If that fails.

Solution Two Distance yourself from him. Back then I didn't know about solution one, so I did number two. Worked pretty well. I built another social circle without him, got other people to do the things I did with him and kept seeing him less and less. I haven't spoken to him in a long time now, but if I see him, I'm not envious anymore...I've fully internalized Solution One.

paynehouse · 2015-03-26T03:17:21+00:00

Play to your strengths. Surely he's not better than you at everything. Find out what you're good at and cream the kid at those particular things. Some girls will like his strengths. Some will like yours.

alexinikita · 2015-03-26T03:48:25+00:00

listen bro, there are times in your life where you look up to your friends. they might never know. there are also times when they look up to you but you have no idea. ive looked up to friends before because they were successful, to find out they looked up to me because i was successful in another area of my life. real friends are there for each other.

not sure how i feel about a guy taking sloppy seconds from a friend. unless you both plan to rail one girl at the same time? idk.

throwawaymatthew · 2015-03-26T13:47:25+00:00

Just get better than him at stuff.

cmiovino · 2015-03-26T14:46:06+00:00

Been here for years.

I was lifting, had a masters degree, good job, money, but always felt like others were doing better and having more.

I took what I was doing and put 110% into it. Started working harder at work, not just slouching around. Lifting heavier and eating better.. even though I was already doing this before, I just got more into it. I got more into my hobbies and such, learned more.

This led to me feeling better about myself naturally. Because I was good at X and my buddy was good at Y, meant we were both good at our respective fields. My work is different than his, my hobbies might be similar, but I do XY and Z with mine, etc.

JovianTrainWreck · 2015-03-26T18:39:56+00:00

I've been there before.

If at all possible, cut him (or anyone that you feel this way about) out of your life for as long as possible while you're doing your own thing. It'll be shit tons harder to improve yourself when you're constantly feeling like shit next to the people that "inspire you to improve". Not everyone is like that, I don't get "inspired" I get depresssed. You need YOU time to do this.

If you can't cut them out of your time or life, then just spend as much time away from them as you can. If they ask why you're so distant, don't even tell them anything substantial. If your "superiors" are anything like the ones I knew, they're actually keeping you down to make sure they stay above you on the totem pole whether they realise it or not.

Overzealous_BlackGuy · 2015-03-26T18:52:03+00:00

If hes your inspiration and what keeps you ticking , then just live with it. Everyone has a "billy badass", thats the guy that stays a notch above you.

Some people let billy get the best of them. Some people don't mind and allow him to set the pace. Some make it their goal to beat billy at the finish line.This is your billy bad ass, what are you going to do?

Second of all: The only proof he's better than you is that you are the one saying it. Stop looking for what you don't have, and look for what you do have.

For example you have a friend ,that you know, will not hold you back. I mean your comparing your body to his like that shit is a game changer.....doesnt that sound petty?

If you can ignore what he has over you and just appreciate his company , i bet your game will change.

Title	How do you stop feeling below someone?
Author	imgonnabethegreatest
Upvotes	16
Comments	12
Date	March 25, 2015 10:45 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/30b2tf/how_do_you_stop_feeling_below_someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-stop-feeling-below-someone.147345 https://theredarchive.com/post/147345

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