One year in only to realize I've been approaching not to win but to "not lose"... I hate that I'm like this

AllFunLife-com · 2019-08-01T18:59:52+00:00

Nobody is better or worse, we’re all human, we’ve all sought out validation, you’re good.. my best advice is approach because it’s an adventure, approach because it’s fun to meet someone you didn’t know existed 5 seconds ago and for it to possibly lead to an awesome conversation, or sexual experience, or whatever.. you’re all good, here’s some brand new daygame in S beach Miami for inspiration https://youtu.be/CsJ8HP0OvrM sending you positive vibes bro!

recyclablebanthas · 2019-08-01T19:01:15+00:00

All this time I thought I was approaching to get laid, but I realize now that I've only really been approaching for the validation. It's just so validating when pretty girls are nice to me.

You could start changing it up a bit and hitting social groups or regular events and deal with people in a context that's not always cold approach.

Also, as paradoxical as it might seem, getting comfortable with your own alone time, is important. Getting out there and being social is one thing. But if you have trouble sitting alone on a Saturday night, that's an equally bad problem.

P3rspective · 2019-08-01T19:07:02+00:00

Instead of approaching with the mindset of doing things to not get rejected, approach with the mindset of success, in the sense that, you approach because you want to have some sort of intimate connection with a woman.

If you're constantly doing things so that you won't fail, you'll never succeed.

The same thing applies to pretty much everything in life. Playing it safe never leads to success. If you're looking for self-validation through others, you are looking in the wrong place. Validation is entirely unnecessary once you fully accept and love who you are, and that can only come internally.

My favourite quote that applies to this is such: "The ship is safe in the harbour, but that's not what the ships are built for"

Speak your mind, and be genuine. It will help a hell of a lot. Forget about the whole deal with not getting rejected, as that shouldn't be on the list, as it will lead to failure and disappointment, and thus the less you will feel the need to seek validation from another girl. Instead, embrace rejection, and use it as a learning experience.

Ultimately, speak your mind, and just be yourself, and most importantly, if you want to have a connection with the girl(otherwise, why approach?), then make it apparent. At the end of the day, why let what she says play part on who you are or how you feel?

Along with this, I sense you'll have to also come to accept yourself, as you haven't fully. Seeking rejection through external means will lead to disappointment as well. You have to learn to love yourself fully, each and every single fiber of your being, the good, and the bad.

TL;DR Just learn to love and accept yourself fully, and you'll find you will never need to seek validation again from any external source. All of what you need is within you. You hold the answers to your own question. Fail, learn, and adapt.You can control your thoughts, you can not control others' thoughts, so why let that which is outside of your control affect you? Best of luck on your journey friend!

ntipz011 · 2019-08-01T19:58:12+00:00

Many go through this. Realizing it is the first step. Now take action when you actuaoly wanna get laid and dont do things for the validation

Title	One year in only to realize I've been approaching not to win but to "not lose"... I hate that I'm like this
Author	gtrman571
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	August 1, 2019 6:28 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cks8ro/one_year_in_only_to_realize_ive_been_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/one-year-in-only-to-realize-ive-been-approaching.1475104 https://theredarchive.com/post/1475104

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