Quick bio: 26yo, 6'0, above average looks, slim build, living in a big city in Canada, just trying to keep it casual, generally quite confident with good inner game.

So at the moment I'm only focusing on getting dates with girls from Tinder/Bumble/Hinge because of my current work and life situation, but that hasn't been an issue for me because my text game is pretty decent and I've been having some decent success getting dates from these apps. But in recent times, I've been having problems converting those dates into girls either coming back to my place, or getting a kiss-close, or even just leaving a good enough impression that would get me a second date. This is a new thing for me (since I reached a comfortable level with my game) because I haven't had this issue in the past (at least not to this extent) and the only thing that has changed since the time I was doing fine to now is that I went away for 6 months backpacking in Southeast Asia where I was meeting girls at hostels and getting laid there. Totally different game to taking a girl from a dating app out for a drink in your hometown. Anyways, it seems I've forgotten how to have successful dates in the meantime and I'm hoping you guys can help me figure out what I'm missing or doing wrong and what I should be doing to get back to normal.

So out of the last five tinder dates that I've been on, two ended successfully and three did not, which is not normal for me. Of the two that ended successfully, one was a Mexican girl (26) that I kiss-closed at the end of the night, but didn't see again because she was looking for something serious and realized I wasn't when I tried to invite her to mine at the end of the date. We were sitting across from each other when we were getting the drink (something I normally don't try to do), but I did well enough to leave a good impression on her (without the ability to do much kino) and to get the kiss-close when I dropped her off at her place at the end of the night. Tried to schedule a second date, but like I said, she realized I was just looking for something casual and it didn't happen, but I don't blame her for that! The other successful one was a local girl (27) that I did sit next to and was able to do a bit of kino on with legs touching and just being close in general (I think I could really work on my kino game, more on that later). Ended up getting her back at mine and after a little more wine, we had a little fun, but I had to deal with some LMR in the form of the no sex on the first date rule which prevented me from getting the lay, but that's not something easily overcome anyways so I consider the date to be a success regardless.

As for the three that did not end successfully, here is the summary:

  • The first was a Ukrainian girl (19) that I sat next to and who seemed to be interested in me at the beginning. I was already sitting at the table when she arrived and I got up to greet her and then sat down next to her. Her body language matched mine and the conversation flowed well. However, I noticed after a little while that her body language stopped matching mine and it seemed a bit closed off. I hadn't done much kino by that point. I decided to try changing the setting of the date to doing some kind of activity where I would have an excuse to do a bit more kino and teasing so I took her to a nearby billiards bar to play a game. We played a game, but she didn't seem to be as interested as she was at the beginning of the night and there wasn't much teasing being reciprocated or anything to indicate interest in flirting with kino and stuff. We only played one game because she gave me some excuse about her flatmate needing her and that she had to go so we said our goodbyes, hugged, and that was it. Sent her a text the next day to see if she'd be down to meet again and didn't receive a reply, but that was to be expected.

  • The second was a local girl (23) that I met in front of the bar and sat next to as well. When we met, I complimented her on how she looked and led her into the bar. The way the booth was set up, it was hard to sit in a comfortable position where I could face her with confident body language so that felt a bit off, but I felt like it started off alright with decent conversation until I started noticing her looking more at the TV in the bar than at me. Her body language didn't indicate too much interest either. I attempted an excuse to do kino since she had a birthmark on her neck which I touched and asked her about, but I felt like she did not appreciate that, maybe also because she decided she was not into me by then anyways. In general, I always try to slowly get physically closer in my dates in one way or another, but I have trouble finding excuses to break the touch barrier when sitting next to the girl in a booth. Thought this might have been an easy excuse, but maybe not. Anyways, when we finished our drinks, I asked her if she wanted to have her dance lessons now (referring to some flirting we did over text where I said I would offer her dance lessons at my place and she liked the idea), but she said not tonight or something along those lines so I asked her if she wanted to get another drink or go somewhere else like play billiards or something since it was Saturday night and only like 9:30pm or something and she said yeah sure so we left the bar and on the way to the parking lot (we both drove to the bar separately), I got into my car and she was about to get into hers to follow me to the bar before she came to my window because she wanted to say something so I got out and she essentially told me she wasn't coming and that this isn't what she was looking for. I thanked her for her honesty and wished her a good night before going home. I don't know if she was referring to me trying to invite her to mine on the first date or if she had already lost interest in me before that point. I did not follow up with her after that.

  • The third was a German girl (23) that I had really clicked with via text already and thought this was a girl worth playing the long game for so I wasn't going to try to get her to my place on the first date (also because she had work in the morning the next day), but I was definitely going to try for a kiss-close and a second date. We also met in front of the bar and she arrived at the same time as me so we joked about having perfect timing. We hugged (I do this every time), said hi, and asked for a table. I sat next to her and it was a nice booth where I could comfortably sit in a confident position facing her. We had lots to talk about so the conversation flowed very smoothly. While we were talking, I was slowly trying to get closer to her and at a certain point, I had my hand on the seat behind her back and it was touching her back. I noticed when I got that close, her body language indicated she didn't seem too comfortable with it, but I assumed maybe it was because she might've thought I was moving too fast or something. The date ends and I offer to give her a ride home since she came by bus. She agrees and when I arrive in front of her place, I notice she doesn't say that she enjoyed her night or that she would like to see me again. She says that it was nice to meet me and tells me to drive home safe. She then goes for a hug so as to avoid letting me have any attempt to go for a kiss-close or say anything that might lead to talking about a second date and leaves the car. I text her the next day saying I had a great time with her and she responds again saying that it was a pleasure to meet me. I then try to make plans for a second date, but she tells me she's going to be quite busy this month so I ask her if she's actually interested in seeing me again and she says she would be, but not as anything more than a friend so I try to see what happened by asking her about it and long story short, she says that she didn't feel it click with me from the moment we greeted each other. I remember when we did, we just said hi, hugged, and commented on the perfect timing before we went straight into the bar to get a table. Looking back at it, I could've complimented her on how she looked or held my eye contact longer or held her waist a little longer after the hug, or had a short conversation, but I didn't think that that moment and the lack of doing those things would've affected the outcome of the whole night. She did seem enthusiastic about meeting me and I felt that in the hug, but I guess I went too quickly for the table instead of taking advantage of her interest at that moment. Or maybe she was just lying about it to give me some reason and there is actually another reason for it.

Anyways, in my own self-reflection, I definitely see room for improvement in the kino area during a date so any tips or advice about that would be highly appreciated, as well as in the initial introduction if what the last girl told me was true. Apart from that, if you notice something else I don't about how these dates are going, I'd love to hear it. My general approach to these dates is to keep the conversation flowing, be confident, ask questions, tease when I can, and try to establish some kino, but it seems like I might be doing something wrong which is affecting the whole outcome of the dates. If someone has any general advice on how to approach these dates, that would be welcome as well.

Apologies for the long post by the way.