I'm a 22M in college. So I've had 3 instant dates this semester, a few regular dates, and gotten a lot of phone numbers. However they've all flaked.

I don't have any trouble approaching or keeping a conversation going now. On the last instant date I had a girl come get coffee with me, we chatted and laughed, but then when I asked her out to another date she said she wasn't looking for a relationship.

With the dates, I usually meet them for ice cream and we'll sit on the couches there or go for a walk. I'll go to get physical by holding their hand or something similar and the last few times they haven't been excited about it. Which confuses me because I approach in a very direct way.

With the numbers, about 1/3 don't respond, I just ignore those. Another 1/3 say they're busy on the day I pick for the date. I usually ignore those as well because they don't put in any effort to tell me when they are free, they don't try to reschedule at all. I feel like if they were interested they would. The last third usually say I'm sweet/cute but they aren't looking to date, which I assume is them just rejecting me politely.

I'm not sure what else I should be doing on the approach. Maybe I should try to be more emotional and/or ask her more personal questions? But then again I don't want to go into interview mode and put all the pressure on her to carry the conversation. With the dates I'm very confused, I don't know why the girl bothered to come if I made it very clear it's a date and I think they're cute. I suppose I could follow up more with some of the numbers, but that seems a bit needy to me. I don't want to date a girl who puts in zero effort when we arrange to hang out.

Any advice? Thoughts?