You guys have helped me lose weight, dress nicer, and start getting laid! BUT I have one big problem that keeps me from keeping the chicks around. I get to affectionate after a f*#k and I drive them away.

2019-12-15T01:03:15+00:00

Don't let them know you are in love. Don't ask for a next date the first night. Don't use the word "love". Don't ask for a relationship.

Kingmir1 · 2019-12-15T02:57:30+00:00

I’m not really the man for the job because I’m dealing with my own battles, but I think this will help.

Stop letting them know that you love them after sex. You said it yourself. Talking about you liking them drives them away so don’t do it. Unless you feel like she has mutual interest in a relationship then don’t talk about your feelings for her. Let that shit happen naturally.

rich_god · 2019-12-15T10:54:49+00:00

There are two things : first is being too affectionate. That means being all cuddly and kissy when she actually wants space. It’s all about non-verbal communication : is she reciprocating you’re kisses ? Is she cuddling with you ? Does she make compliments about touching you ?

I don’t think that’s the issue, calibrating affection is pretty easy. I think the issue is the second thing : you’re putting too much pressure on the relationship.

Saying « I like you » when you barely know someone is pressuring for many people. It’s like saying « I want us to be together » or « I like you more than friends ». It’s the paradox of « I like you » which often means « I want you to like me too ».

So for that I would advise you to use less demanding sentences. Talk about how you feel like « I feel good when I’m with you », « I enjoy talking to you / sleeping with you / having sex with you », « thank you for that date, I had a really good time ».

Or, just emphasize the lack of pressure. Like « I don’t expect you to say something back, but I really like you ». « I really like being with you and would like to see you again if you want to. No pressure. » try to find your words to articulate that idea that you own your feelings and don’t expect the other person to say anything.

Laugh about it, be honest about it. It’s not something to hide. So many times girls were attracted to me because I told them I was often very affectionate after sex and it was very meaningful to me, that I didn’t see sex as something casual but that really bonds two human beings. I had some of my relationships laugh at me because I was « falling in love so easily » and that was true, I was transparent with that. Be yourself, you will find girls that love it, and those girls will be so much better for you.

It’s okay to feel what you feel and to express it, it’s just not ok to expect other people to reciprocate. Be at peace with your own feelings, they’re yours.

Bulkyboiii · 2019-12-15T03:41:23+00:00

Also curious about this because it just happened to me too. Got too affectionate after hooking up and then got ghosted shortly after

DrinkerOfWater69 · 2019-12-15T08:14:53+00:00

If its a one night stand, treat it as such, just f*ck and leave.
If its a "get to know you and maybe date" kinda thing then so some affection but no so much that makes you seem desperate or clingy

2019-12-15T13:25:03+00:00

This hot blonde is different than most of the girls I have banged! And it’s because I really like her. Like she and I have a million and one things in common!

No she isn't different, I promise. You are already aware of what your issue is, so now it's just a matter of thinking before you speak and not going overboard with the affection. Girls chase what is not easily given to them. If you're falling in love after each time, then there's no chase for them anymore.

2019-12-15T04:07:01+00:00

Maybe work on your bedroom performance. I used to get affectionate a lot: not because i was in love just because it is what I am into after sex. Girls loved it and the problem was they fell in love with me afterwards. And i felt like a douche: to make them love me even tho i didnt want it to continue.

SeriousBoy2591 · 2019-12-15T09:42:08+00:00

Bookmark

FairAnalyst · 2019-12-15T14:19:12+00:00

Are you a chick? Your username suggests you are.

Affection after hooking up is down to the type of attention you give to your partner after sex. This goes both ways too. Like the difference between if you tell your partner 'alright time to go' right after you nut vs cuddling with them for another hour.

Course if you just kick a girl out - you may end up with a one night stand and she won't want to see you again. So you want something inbetween.

I'd suggest no more than 5 mins of cuddling - and if you want to keep her around you can be physically in the same room but keep a bit of space between you. If you want her to chase you, this is where you can do physical push pull like grabbing her, pulling her in, and then pushing her away.

Basically it boils down to don't make lingering physical contact, keep it short to make her keep wanting more. Girl will chase you for it.

Would_Hit_That · 2019-12-15T14:59:02+00:00

You didn't lose your weight overnight. You didn't discover your own sense of style overnight. You are gonna kiss some frogs before she turns into a princess.

Just do your usual things and it'll happen when it's time.

If you're interested in some tips and tricks, easiest one is that you end the first date before she does. I don't know why but it fucks with their head and they want to figure it out the next time you hang out with them.

MisterManny98 · 2019-12-15T02:15:16+00:00

Hope Baby Yoda fixes you guys up right. :)

chriscapcap11 · 2019-12-15T05:22:35+00:00

Be yourself

fortysaber40 · 2019-12-16T05:41:16+00:00

Nice. How was it? did you use any of the advice?

vagenegoddess · 2019-12-17T04:17:03+00:00

This is to FairAnylyst:

What if the women are smart enough by reading all of these messages and watching their guides to Never Be The One To Chase thus creating High Quality?

2019-12-15T13:34:51+00:00

unfortunately i cant get the video since tyler deleted them all, but there is one distinct one where he says "you know, once you say "i really like that girl" that's about the point that you're fucked."

and it really is true. once you start piling in all of your emotions into one girl she starts sensing it and doesn't act the same anymore. your best bet would be kick her out after sex and just see how it goes, or at least don't let her spend the night. it'll be a good mental exercise for you.

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