Hey guys

Ten years ago, I (29M), like many men, embarked on a journey to become a better version of myself. I'm only half way there, but I think I have learned a few things that I can share with you. For me the learnings below are really the fundamentals to seduce women (prove me wrong)

A few learnings

  • Success, any success, is achieved by doing the following. So be sure you set your goal, have a clear strategy and then work your butt off:
    • Know what you want
    • Know how you will get there
    • Actually make the investments/sacrifices to get there
  • Every man has to learn how to meet/interact/seduce women at some point in his life. You're not alone, learn from those who walked the same path before you. Make use of every bit of available information. Due to the randomness of life, some learn earlier, others later. Some marry their first love, never learning further, some learn more by spending years dating. There are three main ways to learn:
    • From elder successful males that were around when we were young, like an alpha father, brother...
    • By ourselves with our first interactions and relationships with women
    • Just because you were not able to learn from the above two options doesn't make you a loser. Accept it and learn from available material and literature, including PUA community if you need to
  • There are five main channels to meet women. Each channel has its pros and cons, focus on the one that reflects your personality the most. Nowadays the go to channel is online dating.
    • Cold approach (PUA style or could be more casual like seeing a girl at a party and saying "hi I'm xxx")
    • Online dating (Tinder and such)
    • Social groups (your friends, friends of friends...)
    • Shared activities (including colleagues)
    • Fame (celebrity, college athlete, music band...)
  • PUA community material does not only teach how to pick up in cold approaches, it also provides you with all the fundamentals of seduction, aka the 'inner game'. That part is applicable to all five channels. Learn from it. My main takeaways for 'inner game':
    • Core confidence: You have to know who you are, what your purpose is on this earth, what your life is about. You do not seek external validation as you know at the core, by yourself, that you are enough and no matter what, you will do what you are here to do
    • High(er) value: You have to know deep within you that you are a man of high value, that you are a Leader of other men / Preselected by women / Protector of loved ones / display the Ability to emote / Ability to take risks. During the interaction with her, you are in control, just like the teacher owns the classroom, like a cop in the street or like your father (should have been) with you - you have to be that person, not just pretend. She will test you to see that you are not faking, that you're the dominant man you pretend you are
    • Attraction: women do not control chose who they are attracted to. Women are usually attracted to the man that displays ability to survive/reproduce. Attributes of attraction are (not exhaustive): power, leadership, social calibration, physical genetics, physical fitness, ability to print money, style, emotional intelligence, knowledge, core confidence. Not all women are attracted to the same attributes. Do not make the mistake that one attribute is enough. As you develop in each, you will start to get more and more eye contacts and indicators of interest
    • As you get older, men will be much better off. we are in a market with demand and offer. When you are 20, your pool of women that you can interact with is basically between 18 to 20. But those women are already interacting with guys between 20 and 2x. They have way more option than you do. However, by at the age of 28, you will have access to all women from 19-28. Most likely, you've worked on yourself and are probably much better in terms of value/attractiveness than young men. So it gets much better
    • Practice, practice, practice: confidence comes from the certainty that no matter what happens, you know most outcomes and nothing will surprise you. The best way to be that way is to multiply your interactions. Don't be stuck on one girl. Unless she proves you otherwise, your growth is more important than her

Cheers