I never have luck with online dating and it fucks up my self-esteem

manisenf · 2020-04-10T20:04:45+00:00

your pics probably suck
don't date during quarantine

quinnmcd · 2020-04-10T18:23:17+00:00

You're putting to much stock into online dating. online dating should only be a supplement to going out and meeting women. Women are much pickier online because they have more than enough options. Online dating will never be superior to the old fashion way of going out to meet girls. A larger number of girls never use dating apps.

You shouldn't base your self-esteem on who's swiping on you and who's not. You should be going out and be meeting women (when the virus stuff is over) with online dating girls can't feel your energy than can hear you or smell you. There's so much more to attraction than just looking at a picture and reading a bio.

Work on your confidence and self-love. Understand that if you are or aren't getting matches you're a high-value male. What you think of yourself should mean more than what anyone thinks of you. Learn to love yourself and realize you don't need valuation from anyone else.

jonnytechno · 2020-04-10T18:01:02+00:00

Watch the matrix & realise that self esteem can be anything you want it to be as long as you believe.. The only thing holding you back is yourself. If you feel you are bound by people's perception of you then change your environment start afresh and take control of the image you exude

What I'm trying to say is if you know your self esteem is tye problem then the chances are it's a big problem or at least is showing in your image /attitude.... Actively change that and force a new way of behaviour that you believe to be the confident you

silverbird666 · 2020-04-10T19:47:50+00:00

If it is not working for you, stop it and go for more traditional approaches.

Remember: The lockdown is temporary. Yes, it will take some months until the clubs are open again, but you could use this time to work on your mentality, your openers and other techniques, your looks, you name it...

2020-04-10T23:07:12+00:00

In my opinion, u should try not using the dating apps and approach women direct. This way u cant mask ur personality and u can show the girl the real u. Theres only so much u can see online. U can look at pictures but what about the sound of their voice, confidence, body language. All my female friends said that they love a guy with confidence who could walk up to them It's so easy to say stuff u wouldn't say irl online. That's the best tip I can give ya

Relationshipaddvice · 2020-04-11T03:07:36+00:00

Another thing I wanted to mention is that sometimes when you have a Negative Attitude it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It could affect your pictures, bio and messaging.

If you think it won't work and isn't working and people can sense it: It won't work. It's hard to change your attitude, especially because 10+ years is a long time.

It is possible, but hard.

In messages, try to be playful and flirty, not average and boring. Don't talk about sex too early and...Well messages are a whole different animal...

Hope this helps!

JUAN_ORO · 2020-04-11T04:54:23+00:00

a quick experiment is just open a fake-girl account a see the number of options girls have, plenty and do not care too much about how many guys they find, they do not care with the same amount as you! ...For me, it was the same, but then I took Jeffy's course and now I get +500 Matches in one year (just 4 real dates), are not a high number but 2018-2019 were only 26 matches (0 DATES), so that WAS SKYROCKETING! This is not spamming there are certain rules that I had not created. It is just for fun your self steam could not be attached to someone unfamiliar or even worst to some random algorithm!!!!! TAKE NOTE ON THIS, girls are attracted to abundance and rejected neediness, so do not worry my friend this is the first step

Relationshipaddvice · 2020-04-11T02:48:06+00:00

I feel your pain. When it seems like it hasn't been working for an extended period of time, 10+ years, it's easy to internalize.

The good news is that there is a formula to online dating. There are things that work.

Mostly, it's your pictures. Are you indoors or out, smiling or not, with groups or alone. If with groups, are you in the middle of the group, with your arms around someone or on the side and a little shy/awkward. Do you have facial hair/glasses/hats. Are you tiny, can't be seen or up close?

Do you have pictures where you're in amazing situations, with amazing people and showing what kind of person you are?

What are your passions and hobbies? Do your pictures showcase them.

I recommend finding professional help: A website or coach. You can try asking random women what they think of your pictures.

And your bio matters too. You want some things girls can comment on. Some icebreakers. And it shouldn't be too long. And hopefully not too many cliches, like, "I like going out and staying in..." Everybody says that.

No matter what happens, don't internalize the results with yourself. It's a formula and you haven't gotten it right yet. It doesn't mean women don't want you/are rejecting you. It just means you aren't conveying/communicating yourself in the best way yet.

And feel free to make fun of yourself. If you feel the multi-ethnic thing is a factor make some jokes and have a picture where you're smiling awkwardly. Make people laugh! Not trying to be racist, it's about making fun of yourself.

It's good to continuously A/B Test with pics and profile until you find what works.

Good Luck

smoothmax · 2020-04-10T20:11:33+00:00

There are Tinder guides available. I never bought any of them but they exist. Maybe they're worth it.

For example check out Engineered Lifestyle on youtube. They sell a Tinder guide called The Algorithm. I always thought their free vids were OK where they talk about live approaches, Tinder profiles and texting. One of the coaches is black so it must be applicable to minorities at least somewhat.

Title	I never have luck with online dating and it fucks up my self-esteem
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	13
Date	April 10, 2020 5:36 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fykfyd/i_never_have_luck_with_online_dating_and_it_fucks/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-never-have-luck-with-online-dating-and-it-fucks.1493777 https://theredarchive.com/post/1493777

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