I keep moving through periods of mediocre success followed by jaded cynicism and bitterness at some of the brutal realities of dating, and the major one I'm having issues with right now is connection. It doesn't matter how hot you are, if you can't build a connection with someone you're not going to go anywhere with them.

How do you build a connection? Extroversion, mutual interests, and mutual experiences. Or interests and experiences that are close enough that you can relate them to the other person's interests and experiences.

Me? Introverted. I have an extroveted side I can tap into, but I am far enough on the introvert scale that I still require a lot of me time. I have niche interests that 99.8% of women can't connect with, and only 99.0% can relate to by drawing parallels. I have unique and mutual experiences that could build connection, but given my introversion my thoughts are rarely on those, and my memory is not an on-demand library where I can recall things at will. People have to dig those memories out of me, otherwise I can't find them myself.

I simply can't form connections naturally. Recently there's one FWB/Defacto GF/IDon'tKnowWhatWeAre that I have been able to connect with, and one of those major connecting points was a show on Netflix. Yeah it's a good show, and yeah I love the feeling of having that connection, but what did that connection cost me? Sure I can binge-watch Netflix, and constantly keep up with pop culture so I can connect with more people, but that robs me of the time I want to invest in my niche hobbies. Literally the only way for me to form connections and be successful with women is to give up my true passions and force myself to be "interested" in whatever everyone else is interested in. There's not enough time in a year for both my passions and those common interests to coexist.

"Be the best man you can be." That only works if you're extroverted and have enough common ground with a large swath of the population. It doesn't matter how hard I work out in the gym, or how much I focus on my job or passions, or that I satisfy my partner more than most other partners she's had, the moment someone with better genes than me, more extoversion than me, and more mainstream interests than me comes along, I am going to be tossed aside.

The fact that I would have to essentially sell my soul to form and maintain relationships in the face of such competition is making me jaded and bitter, and I don't know how to overcome it.