As a coach for a couple of years now, I’ve seen a lot of the same misunderstandings and issues in guys that really hurts their game.

They start to overthink everything and is using their energy and time thinking or being bother by things that they can’t affect.

To help guys understand, I break it down in three categories. Me: this is things that I can control. I can control what I eat, if I walk up to someone, what I say etc etc. You: this is things that people around me are doing and I can’t control, such as what a girl thinks or says, what other guys around me are doing etc etc God: this is things that I can’t do anything about, basically nature like if it rains, COVID-19 etc.

Why is this important?

Well for two reasons. Gaining confidence and self improvement.

First. This directly affects your level of confidence and self esteem, if you focus on things that you can control then you will feel self esteem since all your focus is on yourself. This way you can actually improve the things that you do since you can affect if you choose to workout or eat pizza and watch tv, you can choose to go out to a bar instead of staying in, and you can choose to walk up to a girl and say hi.

Way to many guys a waiting for her to give him the signals to be allowed to approach her, you are basically giving a stranger all control to decide weither you approach her or not, and this needs to stop. This only hurts your confidence and you will miss out on so much in life, not just girls.

The second reason, is that you can only improve yourself and grow if you ask yourself “what could I do different”, not if you think “what should she have done different”. Take responsibility for your actions and your result, she did nothing wrong just cause you couldn’t get her attention or another guy swooped in and won her over. Otherwise you will never become better then mediocre.