On a recent post of mine about how cold approaching is a skill, a user commented:

“Except in the case of cold approaching 90% of the time the girl will ger creeped out (unless you look attractive). Let's be real.”

Now this could be true. If you seem creepy or act in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable, then you possibly will creep them out. However, to most women, “creepy” can mean two things:

  1. She’s just not interested in you
  2. You were too aggressive / not calibrated in your approach

There is no option for the first answer. You WILL “creep” people out on occasion if you cold approach often, as long as you handle rejections well and don’t be overly pushy. That will make her uncomfortable.

In regards of the second answer, if you’re too aggressive / uncalibrated in your approaches and you make a lot of people uncomfortable, then you have to be more subtle in your approaches. A lot of guys who initially get into cold approach make this mistake. It’s not the end of the world if you creep someone out (unless you do something REALLY bad like grope someone or make really overt sexual comments, but most guys don’t do this).

In the beginning stages of cold approach especially, you might make mistakes that make people uncomfortable. This was the case for me. When I first got into cold approach, I ended up getting a bad reputation at school (6000 person school) because I ended up going over the top on occasions. Since then, I learned to be more subtle in my approaches (college isn’t the best place for direct cold approaches, better to go indirect in that scenario).

If you do make people uncomfortable:

  1. Be empathetic. If you notice any nonverbal cues that people are uncomfortable (closed body language, awkward facial expression, awkward laughter), apologize and walk away.
  2. Don’t be persistent. Seriously, don’t “plow”. This will make people even more uncomfortable.
  3. Tone down the flirting a bit. Avoid saying things that might be too forward and gauge the other persons interest carefully before being super forward flirtatiously.
  4. Adjust your nonverbal communication. People mirror body language. If you look uncomfortable, than they will be more likely to feel uncomfortable. If you look friendly and positive, then it’ll rub off on them and they’ll reciprocate that same positive energy.
  5. If you’re approaching during the pandemic, be aware of social distancing precautions. Be respectful of other peoples space by keeping at least 6 feet from them. Wear a face mask. People are more likely to get uncomfortable with someone who is too close to them, especially nowadays during the pandemic. Don’t use this as an excuse to not approach though: you can certainly still approach, but just make sure to follow precautions as best as you can.

It’s all the learning process. The key is to learn from mistakes and think about what you could do in the future.

Hope this helps!