The following is a rant to myself. But please feel free to critique and give any advice.

So a little about me. I'm 6'3, I'm a semi professional athlete, have traveled to over 30 different countries, in terms of looks, I'm about 9/10. I also have a near genius level IQ. Feel free to bash me as much as you guys like over this self description, but I feel it's necessary so I can get tailored advice.

I am able to fake the Alpha attitude really well, slow down my voice, make very little body twitching or unnecessary movements, tease sexually, etc. etc. My huge problem is that I have a hard time doing this when it counts.

When for example a friend asks me to talk to a girl and introduce him to her, I have zero problems, because my ego is not on the line. The moment my ego is on the line though, and I'm talking to a girl for myself, I kind of crack. I forget everything I've read from PUA (years ago) and recently TRP and go full on beta.

I still get the girl quite often, but I really am interested in being the best man I possibly can be, because I have lots of trouble getting the true 10s. It feels as if they see right into my soul, see that I'm nervous, and disqualify me.

Like today, had a tinder date who's 8/10, 9/10 in my eyes though (which made me nervous), because she has some really cute features that turn me on a lot, but in general, most guys would see her as an 8. We had coffee, and it was a 4 hour coffee (she stuck around because of all my good attributes). And what did I do? I just made her laugh for all 4 hours. I did some physical escalation, but I just can't manage to get sexual, to go in for a kiss, etc. etc. etc. After the coffee shop told us it's closing down, I walked her to the bus station and she stood there talking to me for like 8 more minutes. I'm almost positive she was hoping for a kiss, but for every second it didn't happen, I felt more and more awkward, so it ended up being just goodbyes. I felt ridiculously pathetic when we leaned in to hug goodbye and she kissed my neck.. like SERIOUSLY, can I be more of a pussy? How pathetic I must hvae looked in her eyes, when she thought "wow... this guy has it all and is too scared to kiss me". I mean, lots of times, the girls just think I'm not interested because of my inability to go for what I want.

I just don't know how to do it to be honest. I've never gone for a kiss in my life (I'm 27 years old). And I've had sex with lot of good looking girls, all of them though who have gone in for the kiss on me.

After making out, I usually feel comfortable in escalating further. But I just don't know how to make the makeout happen on my terms. It's always on them getting sick of me not doing anything and going for it themselves.

So that's it, horrible 3AM rant of myself which probably makes no sense, and I already know what the advice is going to be. But maybe someone will surprise me and give me advice that I'm not expecting. I think I mostly wrote this for myself, am contemplating on deleting it all right now, but will post it regardless.

So that's that. My advice to myself in this situation would be "just do exactly what you want to do to her, when you want to, go in for the kiss the moment you feel like kissing her. If you fail, who cares, learning experience, it will get me to eventually be comfortable."

English is my 2nd language, so forgive any errors in grammar.