I'm pretty good at dealing with insults and cries for attention (agree & amplify or ignore) but there is a certain subtle type of shit test that gets me stuck. Patrice O'Neal calls this the "Other Side of the Bed" shit test (on the Black Phillip Show Ep. 1):

He is going to bed with his girlfriend and then she asks him which side of the bed he wants to sleep on (like it fucking matters?). He picks a side and says "this one". She then proceeds to tell him that she wants to watch TV and if he is on that side then he will be in the way of the TV.

That's the entire story, and it absolutely infuriates me. My natural response would be "WHY THE FUCK DID U ASK ME WHICH SIDE I WANT TO SLEEP ON IF U ALREADY KNOW U WANT TO SLEEP ON THE SIDE CLOSER TO THE TV DUMBASS?!?!?"

The correct response would probably be to stay calm and not get angry, but what would I say? Patrice never elaborated on this. How do you deal with shit like this?