Just a quick little post on this fine Wednesday afternoon.

I get questions frequently about how to respond when girls say specific things. In reality you can say whatever you want, whenever you want, just because you feel like it, but if you really want something on-hand to say, here’s quick list addressing all the different ones I’ve been asked so far.

  • Why are you talking to me/us/my friend?

This is usually said on the approach (day or night) and is usually just an indication that the girl isn’t interested, but it’s always a good idea to not assume the negative and just keep the convo going and not get butt hurt about it.

“I thought you were cute” – This is really all you need to say. Most guys get all indirect and cave to the girls frame and say something like “I just wanted to see what you were like” or “I just like meeting new people”, but the girl knows you are bullshitting. Sometimes they’ll say some variation of “oh so you don’t care about personality?” or “that’s kind of shallow, don’t you think?”. To which you can respond “well I can’t find out your personality until I talk to you, right?” and it’s about a 50/50 chance that they’ll just escalate and reject you in a more direct way, or accept it and keep the convo going. If they keep the convo going, just continue like normal and then ask for the number. Most of the time, even if you get the number, it doesn’t turn into anything, but I have gotten dates from conversations like this.

  • Do you know them?

Every once in a great while (seriously, it’s very rare) some white knight or fat angry Karen will see you do an approach and ask this after you’re done.

“Yeah she’s in my yoga class (or something similar).” in a casual, and non-confrontational way and then just walk away. Almost never will they escalate farther or actually go up and ask the girl if it’s true.

Or you can just say “nope” or “I do now” and if they respond with something like “and you think that’s ok?”, just say “yep” and keep walking away.

  • Were you harassing those girls? or some other variation implying you’re a creep

“Are you creep shaming me” or anything else nonsensical since they decided to be nonsensical first.

“Is talking to a stranger harassment?”. They will usually respond with a version of yes. “Ok then can you stop harassing me please?”

  • Do you do this all the time/Do you always talk to random girls?

“Only the cute ones” in a lighthearted/joking tone.

“Eh if I’m feeling bold that day”

“Not too often, like 200 girls a day tops” in a joking tone

  • I have a boyfriend

“How long have you guys been together” and then no matter what answer they give, even if it’s multiple years, say “oh so its not that serious then”. This will almost always get a laugh. This doesn’t change if she’ll give you the number or not, it’s just a fun thing to say to keep your mood high and end the approach on a positive note. Afterwards just say you were messing around and have a good day.

“Well do you want a boyfriend or a husband?” Again, doesn’t change the result, but it’s a fun, flirty thing to do and almost always gets a laugh.

“Yeah, but do you even like him?” Obviously said in a joking tone

  • You talked to me last week.

It’s inevitable that you’ll re-approach a girl if you are consistently approaching. If this happens just say “well you’re still cute” and keep the convo going. Or if it’s a girl you already planned a date with, you can say you’re kidding and play it off.

  • We’re not having sex tonight/Nothing is happening.

“Obviously, we’re not even married yet.”

“We’re never gonna make a basketball team with that attitude.”

“Well I hope not, that would be hard to do while we’re (whatever activity you guys are doing/going to do.”

“You fucking better not, you’re going to break my streak.”

(Basically any response that agrees with her in a joking and confident manner will work). After, you just keep the convo going like normal and still go for the pull at the end.

  • Tell me more about yourself/I want to get to know you more (said through text)

This is almost always a soft reject. There’s usually nothing you could say, whether you redirect and brush past it or actually answer her questions, that will be sufficient. I usually just say “well what do you want to know” and maybe 20% of the time after you answer 2 or so questions, you can ask for the date and they’ll actually agree to it. Most of the time they will just reject or ghost though. Most of the time, if she was genuinely interested, she would be fine with whatever information/vibe she got on the approach.

  • Can we (changes time or location of first date through text)?

Changing location – Never change it unless it’s very close to original location/close to your place and doesn’t require more money/investment. If she was genuinely interested in YOU, she would be fine with wherever you chose.

Changing to later time – Fine if new time is not past 8pm, it’s only an hour or less change, and a reason is given. Some girls give so little of a shit and they are not actually invested that they don’t even give a reason for the change because they’ve learned that most guys will just bend over and take it just to get the girl out. If any of these are not true, just reschedule.

Changing to earlier time – Fine if hour or less change, reason is given, and reason is not because she has something to do later that night. Her having something to do means she is either lying as a reason to leave date without pulling, or she legitimately has something to do, but that thing will get in the way of pulling. If any of these aren’t true, say you’ll get together another day.

I have cancelled dozens of dates for reasons like this. Sometimes they’ll reschedule, sometimes they won’t. If they don’t reschedule, she probably wasn’t that interested anyway. I came to this conclusion of just rescheduling after accomodating these over and over again and noticing the conversion rate was drastically lower.

  • “I didn’t feel a spark/connection/more a friend vibe/etc” after a date

No sexual attraction, too nice/safe, didn’t go for the pull (so she assumed disinterest or that you were too scared), or you were visibly nervous/unconfident.

Obviously there's dozens and dozens of things a girl could say at any given time that might trip guys up. If there’s any others you guys have, comment them and I’ll respond.

P.S. I do 1-on-1 coaching. Message me for details. I’ll get you laid. Promise.