I (26m) have insecurity when it comes to my lack of experience for sex compared to most others and want to see how to be more relaxed instead of desperate to close the gap.

When I was growing up I always pretty awkward and socially anxious and didn’t have a relationship because I came of as desperate and insecure that turned girls off. I got more social and charismatic around college but because of a bad experience (long story) and being in the middle of nowhere, I just focused on my career and instead of dating.

When I moved to a big city at 23 I wanted to change and learned to dance and be more curious and open. As a result, I had made out with plenty of girls and even lost my virginity to someone who became a short term friends with benefits.

However, when it comes to escalating to sex or just dating I drop the ball. It’s ironic because my friends keep complementing me about how much rizz I have for constantly going up to girls I’ve just met, being super social and funny, and overall charismatic. I’ve even had many nights where girls were buying ME all the drinks).

I just wanted to ask because I’ve only had sex with one girl and oral with a German girl I met while backpacking in Thailand (couldn’t find private room and dropped the ball) while friends I know had partners in the double digits.

How can I stay relaxed and calm to sexual experiences instead of acting on desperation due to my insecurity?