So, I’m not sure how I should feel or what I should do. My husband of 20+ years went through a period of time over the last 2 years where he was drinking a lot/ talking to another woman/ and treating me pretty badly. It was almost like he had a nervous breakdown and midlife crisis all at one time. Things have been much better over the past six months, but every once in a while it rears its ugly head. There is typically alcohol involved. Last night after consuming several margaritas while out to dinner with our kids, he switched into some kind of mood. He started saying unkind things to me in the restaurant and being overall ugly. He acted like I had ruined the evening for being upset that he was being unkind. As an example of something he said- I always talk about wanting to renew our vows at 25 years. I mentioned that at dinner, and he said he would never renew a contract with me and if it’s up for negotiation he won’t sign on the dotted line ever again. I don’t know where my thoughts are on this. The frequency of the incidents have greatly decreased, but I don’t feel like I should have to put up with it at all. I don’t understand why he would claim to love me when sober, then have a few drinks and start saying all kinds of mean things to me. I swore I wouldn’t go down the same path with him again . I can’t seem to sort out my own thoughts though. I feel horrible about myself. Also, when I say he acts like a 12 yo, I mean when he starts drinking he starts cussing up a storm and wanting to blare explicit rap music. When I don’t want to participate, then I become a “boring babysitter”.