Were you raised to center female authority figures emotions?

narex456 · 2024-07-04T03:29:16+00:00

Short answer: yes.

I wasn't really allowed to be sad or god forbid cry with my mom. If I there was a way to interpret it as her fault then she would make me feel bad for making her feel bad. "How am I supposed to feel about that?" - Mom, to me when I was 11. It's gotten better as I got older (and she got more mature, its crazy how childlike she is in my memory) but it still comes out when she's feeling cruel (rare).

OTOH when it wasn't her fault I'd still get punished for it. Like when I was 7 and I cried from a frustrating experience in a video game (died and lost my stuff in runescape) she said if I was going to get that worked up about it I wasn't allowed to play anymore. Lesson: cry and you lose your toys.

So yeah. I feel you.

K4matayon · 2024-07-04T09:54:29+00:00

yes and even into my early adulthood my mom would pull crap on me that goes like this: she fucks up and makes me upset and then she gets upset over the fact that I'm (rightfully so) upset and then she used to guild trip me into apologizing for being upset because it made her upset

DumbWordsmith · 2024-07-04T11:00:28+00:00

Yeah — big time. Both of them were domineering too.

And it wasn't just with emotions. It was unacceptable for me to express myself in any way outside of what they considered to be "the norm."

The more I look back at my childhood, the more I can see that my parents didn't know WTF they were doing.

However, they were well-intentioned. They did everything they thought they needed to do, so I'm very grateful for all of their sacrifices. And I forgive them for their flaws and mistakes because they were raised in jacked up situations.

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Opening_Tell9388 · 2024-07-05T15:41:37+00:00

A little bit. I grew up in a gang neighborhood and had family that was in it. Me and my brothers were taught not to blow up, talk reckless or do something reckless because if you do it around or aimed at someone you might not live. Plus the politics in the place with all these folk lore stories and alliances it was like a fucked up version of GOT.

So, me and my brothers got into ways where we could get our anger out and emotions out. Which included, working out, skating, boxing, fades, etc. Gotta move smart. Can't let your emotions push you off the cliff. Be methodical.

Unable_Evidence_4028 · 2024-08-19T04:39:10+00:00

No? I was raised as a man. So I always needed to keep my head leveled.

Someone needs to care for the shitshow that are women in this family before they destroy themselves and drag everyone screaming and crying to hell.

Title	Were you raised to center female authority figures emotions?
Author	hearyoume14
Upvotes	14
Comments	9
Date	July 3, 2024 6:51 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dum2le/were_you_raised_to_center_female_authority/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/were-you-raised-to-center-female-authority-figures.1523197 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523197

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