I guess it sounds really dumb but I feel I need to hear from the fine gentlemen here

Background:Married 15 years in Pennsylvania , four kids(2 step from her previous marriage) and two from ours, youngest 11. We Both work, Wife makes 2.5x my salary. We own two homes, with one being a rental, which we gutted and restored from the ground up. Two mortgages. Rent covers the rental mortgage (no profit-charity case helping a family/friends -long story). When the family gets on even keel and moves. We either sale and at worst break even or decide to rent and be landlords. Modest savings.

I got the "I love you but I'm not in Love with you" last year. We started Couples counseling in November and things have gotten better communication wise but it's one sided blame game.

She feels I've rejected (this is lovey dovey stuff and not enough of it)too many times and she/we can't get the intimacy back and life is too short to be "Loved" the way she needs.

Trust me when I say this: this wasn't a marriage devoid of affection, kids hampered it by having to care for them, home projects, work, etc. but we were affectionate daily. The big mistake has been not finding time to do date nights/us time since after Covid broke and things became "normal". So that's on me. So easy to see it after the fact.

We are still meeting with the therapist and this was talked about in our last session. She doesn't want a Divorce per se but a separation. We will live in different homes. But it's not going to be normal separation. She told me she Won't deny me time with our kids, we remain friends do vacations together, occasional meals together, some activities,etc. build something new together different from divorce. This raises a lot of questions. No I don't plan on leaving the house(I've learned that much from this site but don't hesitate to remind me)

Anyone have any kind of experience with this working?

I don't have any family in this state(transplant to PA) and I would have to rent, couple that with the fact that how do you handle getting a lawyer without the other knowing it? Retainer fees will set off huge bells.

Thanks For listening and any and all advice